To whomever is the next unlucky boy to momentarily fall in love with me,
     You should know, that when I fall, I do not simply slip down a step on the stairs. I plunge into the depths of the ocean, sink to the bottom of the mariana trench.
     I will relinquish my heart, body, and soul to you. Whether you reciprocate or not, I will give myself to you completely, let you see my soft spots and my rough patches, the lines around my eyes and the fat on my thighs, the scars on my wrist and the hair on my arms.
     You will give me an inch in return for my mile, but it will be the most precious inch I have ever seen.
     I will say I love you too soon, but I will mean it with every fiber of my being.
     When you lie through your teeth I will believe you, because you will have told me that you will not lie. I will always believe you.
     For a few months everything will be perfect. Then I will try to formally gift you my soul, unpatch it to show you my all. You will look at it with pity, refuse to meet my eyes for a week. Eventually, I will find it buried in the trash, between moldy red apples and an empty box.
     You will say that you love me. I will quietly beg you to show me, to prove yourself. You will pretend not to hear, and I will believe it is my fault for screaming so loud that you went deaf. You will silently agree.

To the next unlucky boy who briefly falls in love with me,
     You will say that you've fallen out of love.
     I will cry,
     say I hate you, I will never speak to you again.
     Sometimes we will pass each other, I will do my best to avoid it, but I will look you in the eyes. For a moment I will feel the chords between us that I cut connect again. I will have to cut them again.
     I will tell myself I do not love you, that I never did,
     But I will never stop.

I have a collection full of every unlucky boy who has ever had the misfortune of falling in love with me. If I was to fall off a building  like humpty dumpty you would see their names are tattooed on the grey matter inside my skull, engraved on every bone in my body. My body will move on, but the memory will never leave me.

His skin is peeling away from the structure of his face the fire burns so hot he will never be recognized as him again I don't know why they bothered to re cremate him when by the end he was already a burnt out husk anyways.
2 a.m on Friday the 13th his tires slid and he wrapped himself around a tree something ignited and it's clear he never had a chance from the beginning
I thought he was careful.
I see his bloodcurdling screams on a movie screen in my head the soundwaves look like never coming home except in a box with a flag handed to his two sons I think the irony is that he made it through the war and not down the highway.
I thought he was careful.
I sat in the 4th row and couldn't stop staring at a beautiful blue box it held this man bigger than life inside of it everybody is crying around me and I just want him to hug me again but i feel so selfish as if his sons don't want that too.
I thought he was careful.
Everynight on the back of my eyelids they replay the crash I never saw but can only imagine in full color surround sound I could almost feel the seismic impact his death left on the world when the tree did not give way and I hope that you were lucky enough to get into heaven but I've got to say that burning up on Friday the 13th doesn't sound very lucky to me.

Now I know about
How cruel you are life
Please
            Let
                   Me
                          Die
The pain is only think I felt
Disappointed with everything
I
  Just
          Want
                     To
                           Die
I had enough, can't hold more
Death will be my salvation
So
      Let
             Me
                    Die.

Jade is very lucky man
a man people treat with value
a man people will **** for
A man people cherish
A man with everyhtig anyone could wish for,
A man of value, life, happiness.
A man people will do anything to get
Jade is a very unlucky man
A man with no life.
A man of no understanding of life
a simple stone
a man that has no experience of life
A proud man who just waits for people to fight for it
A man who indirectly kills
A man with no thoughts or imagination for he is treated like a god
Jade is created by humans, nourished by humans and destroyed by human
What an unlucky man jade is
However, jade has a very undemanding life
he does not have to obey any human being
it is not obliged to any human
free, easy and peaceful.
Jade is a man that is lucky
Jade is a man that is unlucky
Jade is a man with an undemanding life
because it has no breathe like that of a man

Today is the day
my existence fades away
ever since high school days
invisible is the way I stayed
I would give up everything
just to fit in.

Outcast, misfit
I'll never fit in
tried to take the time
to do things right
But I've just had enough
I want to give up.

So pathetic
they just don't get it
I can't take it anymore
I wanna tell you
But I'm scared about it
Because I don't know
how you'll react.

Outcast, misfit
I'll never fit in
tried to take the time
to do things right
But I've just had enough
I want to give up.

It's not right
I hate my life
Wish I was gone (alright)
Hand me downs
Trying to make you proud
But I just can't take
I just can't take it now.

Outcast, misfit
I'll never fit in
tried to take the time
to do things right
But I've just had enough
I want to give up.

©2018 Written By Benji James

I would hate to trigger
your triskaidekaphobia,
So please don't count
these words

How many
mirrors
Must I have shatterd

           How many
           times did I
           Cross under
            the ladder

Why did
the black
cat choose me
to intersect

            I can't believe
            I put the
            Noose around
            my neck

I shouted please,
Begged and cried

            One-hundred
            times I lived,
            One-hundred
            times I died;

Because I was
the mirror,
The shattering
glass

            I became the
            ladder,
            Made of steel
            and brass

I befriended the cat,
And sealed my fate

            And as for
            the rope,
            I always
            knew,
            it could
            never
            hold the
            weight.

Total irrational fear, I’m
Haunted by noises and
Interred by the
Rumble belly, *** tightening,
Twitchy eyed, false alarms that
Evolve into conspiracy theories,
Even though I love every single
Nonsensical asinine fear factor…ish

Falling is now a favourite.
Eleven other aversions form a line and
An extra number comes to mind (and with it comes ‘Whoa’)
Reset the clock to zero!
Stride on, wipe your feet, step off.