Spending nights with my pillow
Soaking it with tears and sorrow
Staring at myself for hours
Trying to heal all the invisible scars
Letting my heart cry out
Silencing my unheard shout
Hiding the tears behind my eyes
Faking a smile to cover my lies
Waking up every morning, without having slept
Remembering the secrets I have kept
Going around all day as if it’s fine
Laughing those laughs which are never really mine
Hanging with people who don’t really care
Yes, so many people but this pain no one would share
I’m feeling so much that I feel empty
Surrounded by people, but from the heart there is no one I can see
Walking back home with a broken heart
Wishing an end for this story that start
And reaching back, with a thousand things to say
But everyone has already walked away
I looked around
I wanted to disappear, but actually I wanted to be found
And then again, curling up in bed, hoping my heart, never again beats
But this pain never goes, this pain just repeats
But, now again, the nights are here to hear me screams
And the mirrors waiting to steal my dreams
The pillow is ready to be drowned
And the scars are waiting to be found
The pain is waiting to roll down my cheeks
And then come out as shrieks
But who dose care; no one is here to see
No one to notice what loneliness dose to me
Solitude is bliss, but loneliness a curse
Cause solitude comes from self and loneliness from others
And they say to live you need water, food and air
But ask my murdered heart who has got everything but love and care
Loneliness doesn’t really have a colour; it’s like a black hole inside
Or perhaps a place where I could hide
Don’t say you were there, because you left me alone
Don’t say you brought tape, because my heart was still torn
My heart that is broke now can’t be made
The smiles that covered the pain, have started to fade
You’ll not know how I’m being killed from inside
You’ll not know how many tears I’ve cried
You won’t know how bad you hurt me
I’ll never let you know I’m lonely
It’s not my fault you didn’t hear my cries
If only you would have read my eyes.
But I’m never alone, I’m just lonely
Cause loneliness is always with me.
