If I had to think of one phrase to describe me,
It would be: “I feel…deeply.”
Happy to sad,
Melancholy to glad,
The good days feel amazing,
And the bad days feel…bad.
But I feel…deeply.

Sitting in a room full of people I’ve seen,
Talked with, greeted, and shared some things.
Yet, I still feel like a stranger,
Who wandered somewhere I shouldn’t be.
This lonely feeling,
I feel it…deeply.

Friends who’ve moved on,
Without a second thought,
Leaving me to fend for myself.
“Who needs anyone else?”
I’ll say to myself to muffle my grief,
But I still feel it…deeply.

Helplessness, entrapment,
All fueled by anxiety.
I gnaw at the ropes,
Trying desperately to break free,
With what little I control,
I guess I just go with the flow.
As I weep,
Because I feel…deeply.

Perhaps, I’m too different.
Perhaps, I’m not enough.
Perhaps, I’m just forgettable,
Perhaps, that’s all I ever was.
These fictitious thoughts creep into my reality,
As I feel…deeply.

I wish I were normal,
I wish I fit in,
And I wish I wasn’t abnormal,
But a normal bystander instead.
I know there’s only one of me,
And I should be the best me I can be,
But sometimes, it feels like,
I can’t even be me…right.
This, I feel…deeply.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t think,
Sometimes I wish I were less advanced.
Would it be easier,
Or would it be harder then?
Why does everyone around me seem to function like they’re fine,
While I’m struggling and crumbling on the inside?
Life never said it was going to be fair.
I just wish I didn’t care.
But instead, I drown in an ocean, searching for meaning,
This I feel…deeply.

What am I to do?
What am I to say?
“This is who I am.”
And go on with my day?
Sometimes I hate how I am,
My biggest hater is myself,
And no one else.
Though it’s easier to assume they do.
Even if it’s not the truth.
Sometimes I wonder how my life would be,
If I didn’t feel so…deeply.

I don’t get it—
how people run to their parents
when life gets hard.
How they’re met with open arms,
soft voices, safety.

I used to dream of that.
Of running to mine,
of hiding behind them like a child—
because I was a child.

I wanted to cry in their arms,
to fall apart
and be held together.
But I never could.

There was no softness there.
No arms to catch me,
only the weight of silence,
the sharp edge of being too much.

So I ran.
Not toward them,
but away—
as far as I could
just to find peace.

If the older ones cry,
They get a hug.....
if i cried, i got a lecture.
I always appear strong,
even when I'm silently breaking inside.
They say,"you're the youngest, you should understand"
But who should understand me?
I wiped everyone's tears,
but mine were called weakness.
In being their strength,
I forgot how to ask for help

They yell at you

Avoided like a plague

But you never did anything wrong

  

Because they're blind

Like a deer in headlights

Oblivious to the inside

  

You're just a fox

That's all they see

And that, they can never look past

  

Your light that shines

Never given a chance

Never given a chance to prove yourself

  

B e c a u s e   y o u ' r e   j u s t   a   d i r t y   f o x

this country is severely ******

we elect a man who
makes empty promises
provides specifically for the white, cis, male, and privileged
gets people killed when he doesn't get his way
should be in prison
in general a bad person
all because most weren't ready to accept
a mixed woman
might be better than a white man

or the police
don't get me started on them
"tHeY'Re PrOTeCtINg ThE PeOPlE aS A wHoLE"
absolute *******
do you know the amount of black people have been killed?
because they were "a threat" right?
stepping out a car, sleeping in our beds, cooking our own food
incredibly threatening isn't it?

or jobs?
female employees getting paid as much as men multiple levels below them
blacks, asians, and Hispanics getting jobs they are way too good for
because we apparently will never be able to do the job we're QUALIFIED for
as good as a white man

and why is it such a big deal
if a boy loves a boy
if a girl loves a girl
if someone doesn't want to choose a gender
if someone doesn't like the gender they were born as
if someone loves girls and boys
if someone doesn't care who they love, as long as they're a good person
if someone doesn't love at all
they're living their own life
who they identify as doesn't affect you in the slightest

we aren't doing too good

I cannot
understand it.
do these people
never care to think?
it seems to me like they
miss the entire meaning
of loving thy neighbour
because you do not
need a house or
own property
to do so

tell me
why is it
so radical
to think that
maybe everyone
does deserve
to live?