He said I got all my life ahead of me
to stop kicking my teeth in when
it's not others delivering kicks
covering me in spit in passing
Life is the essence of difficult
leaving you being and breathing
and thinking when all you want
is the option to disappear but
it's the fear, so clear, when you're
alone or homeless or in a pit
that ain't six feet that it easily seems
descending, that is the definite call
to action, man, I can't say the words
to save you, you're in your own hands
but if you're listening stop pretending
that you can't hear the reverberation
on your insides. Maybe you'll die
young and me too, but not with the
mind's eye closed that's why I plea
to keep you running on empty when
you're friendless, when you're so far
from blessed, you're cursed, and wishing
for an enemy. Hate me now for the truth,
I don't hate you. Stare down at the ground
at your shoes if it pays, I can't help but
notice you notice you're built for more,
and you're due.

And then he comes in. Like a whirlwind.
Flipping his arms and crossing them,
can't tell if he's plotting or genuine in
his vehemence. Virulent eyes compliment
perfectly venomous sentences or just
as quick turn icy blue if it's better to give
me the shoulder. He can't believe to this
day I'd betray what was left of his confidence
in me and I ain't going to lie I've been a liar
caught in the web I thought I had protection
against. He saw me there by the sidewalk
then caught up in happenstance, cavorting
with an upsetting ghost supposed to be left
in the past, but he don't understand, I can
shut off the phone or ignore every message
received in belief and knowing I deserve
more than this woman ever gave, but I refuse
to be cruel with active intention to a life
I simply have no other choice but to rearrange.
He said, I hope you're not doing this for me
when I started to change, to climb higher
and rise up from the grave I'd been digging
out for myself with utter complacency,
shedding passivity for determination in exchange
and in the end it all seemed good till a misstep,
hell you invited me back into the bed where
you slept so we could be together and both sleep.
Call me naive. Dependent. **** it, I guess I was
but I now I understand being played by a hypocrite.
Nothing can be every way for you, so now
that I'm getting up on two feet you feel you
can't be a friend to me. Rather than take a breath
to exhale your bitterness you'd expel me with
superficial rage hiding indifference. Called naive.
Dependent. **** it, I guess I was but now
I understand what you said before, yes,
and I'll take a stand, I'm worth about as much
work as I'm putting in, to the mind I am, to
the body I hold, but it's old. I doubt you're
listening. History repeats. You build me
up. You destroy me. You fill my heart.
You silence beats. You power me.
You're wearing down my energy.
I'm off work. So I'm sitting down
under the open sign at Marian's
with a cigarette.

they took my hidey-hole
the ******* *******.
rolling up bass
thumpin to the groove
of a blunt rap.
h'rghroth's testament
to summer tours
and turnin up till four.
the land I love
the most
(....well,
maybe not quite that,
but something.)

Through his smile
*I see an empty soul

°                        
                             **Older
                          
                         People
                         
                                   G e t
                                         M o r e young s t e r S
                                                           B y
                                                            Th
 ­                                                           eir
  ­                                                       S i d e
                                             T o S i t & L i s t e n

I threw my heart port side

I didn't want it anymore

I watched it sink

so

         deep
              
                     down

                                 and
    
                                            now:

It is an orphanage for shipwrecks

It is a home in the dark

When it thinks no one can see

It bleeds


I feel it bleed


Hearts are supposed to be light

But mines made of iron

And sunken fathoms

Black

Rain

Box

Hole

Dirt

Flowers

Stone

Tears

Tears

Tears­

Tears

I’m six-feet under

Thanks to my fears

BOTH:

I stay up late to watch the moon rise
As the sun sets, beyond my wiry eyes
Just squinting, until a soft shade of blue turns to black
Lacking the warmth of light as we drift off into this persistent night

HIM:

I inhaled as the beauty only continues to grow 
Much more vibrate, without the need to show
I peer over to a girl, lying on my chest
I feel a comfort like no other, but I seem to forget the rest

HER:
He breathes slowly, fallen from the stars which are glowing
Still the night echoes with the silence of moonlight
I can see his eyes, reflect the luminary object
In which we ponder as if we were imaginary addicts

HIM:

I don’t recall much of my life
Ive failed to remember ever since, that one night
So everyday, at least this is what they tell me
That I must hear a story about my life before it became cloudy

HER:

Without me knowing, he left one night to catch me a star
Actually he was coming home from just another bedtime at the bar
I woke up chilled, phone ringing off the hook 
Wondering where he is, and still I sometimes look

HIM:

She is very beautiful a beauty unlike any other
I try and try but nothing I can remember
Her name elusive to my rusty old brain
I wish I could ask her but I forget how to say

HER:

If he could speak, right now, he would tell me a story
About why the moon is so high and why the stars are so boring
He always knew how to make me laugh, even without words
If only he would have stayed instead of flying away like the birds

HIM:

I wonder how we met was it silhouettes and fallen leaves
Or an inebriated leap of faith as we stumbled into the trees
I hope it was grand, I wish I could know
Why she chose my chest to lay her soft little nose

HER:

I never stop thinking about how, he stole my broken heart
Then put it back together, to then tear apart
It wasn’t his fault, I know he knew what was right
But when the first leaf falls, it starts getting a little colder at night

BOTH:

So I lay here, listening to the essence of night itself
Wishing for no more pain for him or myself
The myriad of stars, isn’t quite what I had in mind
When looking at the universe I can’t help but feel blind

I
go
to
bed
with
the
thought
of
you
under
my
pillow
and
it
directly
transfers
to
my
dreams.*


F.Z.N