No sleep 'til I'm dreaming
let exhaustion try and take my consciousness

I don't want to be awake anymore
but shutting my eyes is a waste of time

My bed is a wasteland of waking nightmares
and the air is hot in October

I thought tears could take me
but the last try I cried myself to activity

Melatonin is a hoax I hold no hope for
and **** is a drug that gets me ****** up

Even this isn't helping
maybe it can help you

how unlucky
Some people's cells are made of life
but they're not blessed to live
And some of us,
are forced to talk and smile
and shine and walk
and appear
-I want to disappear-
and dance and pretend
and again
and again
and-

All we want to do is fly
or die
It's pretty much the same thing
How unfair

I'm driving home
like everyday
trapped in the traffic.
All is gray.
All is okay.
It rains.
I don't feel
cold or warm.
I just see what happens.

I feel like I wanna drown in the acid those bones hurt inside.
There's something I can't explain, just confusion, behind the eyes.
There are things you can only talk with yourself.
They won't understand,
they don't know.

Listen to the sound of nature.
It's calling out your grave,
that's the existence.
Around me I see
you're all falling,
you're all lost.

A voice in the head calling me,
it's screaming help and crying deep.
The sound of fists on the wall of my mind.
Someone is punching hard from the inside

Shut up!
I need silence to sleep.

Those rain drops on the glass
remind me you're all passing by.
Their weak colors are like your lifes:
confused and obfuscated.

...and now i'm home,
but what is home?
I don't know what is true.
I can't wake up,
would I ever wake up?

It's time to stop thinking

Let Sleep

breathe in breathe out
pulling over to the side of the road
trying to breathe
trying to see through this fountain
of tears on my face
usually i can pull myself together
enough to drive,
but not today.
breathe in breathe out
finally i get distracted focusing out at the window at the leaves dripping from the tree making crunchy colorful puddles.
i peel my hand off the steering wheel
because i was gripping it so hard
breathe in breathe out
resting my head against the cool glass, honestly i don’t know why i’m here or what i’m doing
my hands are shaking
have you ever felt this way..
it sounds almost as if i am describing a close call to a wreck, or bad news on a phone call.
but no
this is the result of living.
i have to distract myself when it gets this bad.
people wonder why i love nature so much.
but it’s because it’s the only real thing in this world of fake ideals.

I'm so tired
Need a break
Only so much my heart can take
Willing to love you
Willing to change
But I can't keep writing
The same **** take
Please forgive me
My limbs grow weak
Do you listen when I speak?
Graceful nights
Exchange a favor
Nothing will ever come to save her

In the ocean I picture an easier world
Keep me locked in a cage
You once told me I wasn't good enough
How am I supposed to find the key
Around my cage you forced me to build bricks
Now no one can free my escape
Tears burn my tired eyes

I'm left with that feeling again
A hole thats so deep
It could inhabit the dead
I feel like a zombie
I've got depression I guess
But most importantly
I'm living life as though it's pretend
Here we go again
I'm ****** in the head
There's no light in this tunnel
I can't see where it ends
I'm lost
A living nightmare of ghosts instead
I have a monster taunting me
Sharing my head
Here we go again

Baby, come back to bed.
Come back to me.

Come back into my arms.
Let's just stay within,
And forget the world without.

Let me hold you close.
For as long as you want.
Let me make love to you.
Until we are too tired,
To do anymore.