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E 6d
What does it mean
when it's
the therapist's chair
that's empty?

Maybe an accident
but the rope
the knife
the pills

It wasn't
an accident
a mistake, maybe
but no accident

Is it selfish
to wish they hadn't
the only one
you could tell

Is it
my fault?
Did I spill
too much?

How many times
did I
break down
in that office?

On that couch
in that room
crying my heart out
while she just... nodded.

Could I have
seen it
if I just
looked?

Maybe if I
just stayed
a little longer
asked...

But what if's
don't change the past
even if
I wish

I wish
doesn't erase
the date
on that headstone

My tears
won't bring her back
it's not even
my pain...

It hurts
but I can't
place
why

Am I
the one to
blame?
or just another puzzle piece?

If I could
just go back
follow the lines
could I fix it?

untangle the strings
uncover the lies
blow out the candle
fill the chair again
by anonymous
I miss her. Not like a friend but as a mentor. She always felt so much stronger than me and now she's just... gone. Wish I could still visit her grave... but it's too far now. Maybe some day.
Sometimes, I fear my depression will win
But then I pick up the pen
And all my problems disperse
I'm writing scriptures,
You'd think the lines
Were birthed in a church
But I'm cursed
I'm not sure if those words have worth
And that's a scary confession
But this isn't a verse
It's a frickin' therapy session
I'm finally learning my lesson
I'm finally calling for help
This is probably the most vulnerable
That I've ever felt.
Searching for a sign
We just play the cards that we're dealt
And yeah, I know that there are times
You wish you were someone else
But you see, inside my mind,
I think you're perfect as yourself
Enrichment of the soul
Is the highest form of wealth
So rest now, my love
All that stress is bad for your health
I performed this piece on social media a few months ago. I wasn't sure if I still liked it, but I thought I'd share it with you all in the HP community.

"Rest now" can be viewed as a conversation between a woeful person (the author) and their console (whether that be a friend, a therapist, the page, or themselves) that discusses the inner anxieties of someone who's putting themselves out there [in their career, or whatever it may be] for the first time.

The counselor reminds the author that they are exactly who they are meant to be and need not stress about anything.
While you are my anchor,
my compass, my rock
my fluffy heroine
The Diva in a fuzzy jumpsuit

If I’m forced off-balance
by your reckless weaving
even once more
I’m leaving you outside
for the owls.

Enjoy a heating pad nap
Dine on Cornish hen
Stare down from your tower high
and leave me alone
to traverse the room
in peace
Mysterious models.
Manufactured.
By argon-hearted stars.
Nefarious apostles,
have youth fractured.
Why? Ma & Da's gone.
Departed for Mars.

When surroundings & reality,
are surreal.
You're out of body/don't know how to deal.
Because meaningful,
contact is imagined.
Along with,
how you're not taught to feel.

Destiny is caught,
in an optimistic eyeful,
but, held in the hands,
of glimpsed emptiness.
Those hollow fists, will drop,
the future, set insight, to crash.
Lips, look above,
rather, wry-ful.
Unable to face,
myopic unfriendliness.
They're content, to cozy up,
next to a rash;
- stress induced psoriasis -
caused by; a post-traumatic past.

© poormansdreams
Archer Feb 7
It can’t make it
It can’t go on
It’s numb
It’s giving up
It’s tired
It’s forced to keep moving
It slumps up
It takes a step
And another
It walks
It walks
It walks
It walks faster
Faster
Faster
It tripped
It cries
It sits down
It looks ahead
It wants to keep walking
It stands up
It walks
It walks faster
Faster
Faster
Faster
It’s running
Faster
Faster
Running
It slows to a steady pace
It made it
And It can’t tell the first line it makes it
You can't open  the session with,
"How suicidal have you been feeling?"
And expect me not to immediately shut down.

"[Deadname], I know you're not..."
Choose your words carefully.
"stupid,"
Score.

"I know you can do it, you just choose not to."
It was never a choice, just a response.

"Come on, [deadname], just talk to me."
How am I meant to tell you to tell you of the deepest darkest parts of myself when you don't even know
my name.
Really hating therapy
Francesca Dec 2024
If I let you read my poems,
      I let you guide into my soul,
Flourished by my deepest thoughts,
      Ways in which I do not tell the world,
Yet, my words have such meaning,
       Such song in the heart.

And if I let you read my poems,
        I let you read a new me,
A chapter that began too long ago,
       As I drift into a lingering sadness,
Writing my way into therapy.  

When I let you read my poems,
        Don't shout to help me,
These poems are quite, subtle to be,
         Silent, yet so loud underneath,
What is it that lies beneath?

And when I let you read my poems,
I have given you my wrenching soul,
Etching to be free,
Connections lie between the lines,
Even when you dont understand, listen to me.

So when I let you read my poems,
I want you to wonder to the world of me,
Watch my soul freeing with relief,
To know that someone knows the hideous parts of me,
That the world will never see.
layla Dec 2024
Days spent inpatient
Couldn't save me from me
Years spent in treatment
Failing to set me free
Dozens of medications
Just to be told it's BPD
Hundreds of coping mechanisms
Yet you still won't believe
I've worn myself out trying
To fight for a release.
cope or die is what is really comes down to, but no amount of "coping" will erase a life's worth of trauma.
Emma Dec 2024
she plucks, she plucks at her hair,
strand by strand, a fragile theft-
a slow unraveling,
a soft dismembering of self.
each root sings a dirge,
a tiny funeral for what she cannot keep.

She cuts, she cuts, into her wrist,
a meticulous surgeon of her own undoing.
the blade hums red hymns,
and the skin parts like filling pages,
secrets written in her blood,
whispering scarlet truths no one bothers to read.

her soul, a cathedral gutted by fire,
its hollow ribs aching for hymns,
the sanctuary she never entered.
she craves her momma's love
like a starving fox craves the moon-
sharp-toothed, bitter, unreachable.

she cries, she cries,
a monsoon of broken rivers.
the sobs scissor the air,
chopping breaths into pieces
too small to sew,
too jagged to swallow.
she drowns in her own storm,
pulling at the loose threads
of forgiveness,
at the ghost of closure
that slips from her grasp,
vanishing into the darkness.

chopped breaths,
chopped hope,
chopped forgiveness,
chopped closure.
letting the bad feelings out
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