Who is the woman in the mirror?
This morning it was a fierce woman
Standing in her power
Ready and willing to take on the world
On her terms.
Not just a survivor
But a thriver
A Phoenix Risen from the ashes
In all her glory
Staring right back at you.
The past hurt, pain and abuse
That had kept her playing small,
Lying all around her
In tatters,
Like dust upon the floor,
No longer attached to her,
No power in them.
Only the fierceness
Of the woman
In the mirror

🦁

trusting someone

is like

jumping in the middle of the ocean,

hoping you know how to swim.

In that moment, what do you remember seeing?
       :My eyes were closed.
What do you remember feeling?
       :His hands. 

Tell me more about that?

       :Him touching me. His breath.

What did you smell?
       :Alcohol.

Where were his hands touching you?
  
       :Everywhere 

Was this on top or underneath your clothes?
       :Underneath.

How did it make you feel? 
  
       :Like a doll. Like I was a *** doll. A toy.

What if anything, you can’t forget about that moment?
       :I can’t forget how helpless and alone I felt. I can’t forget how long
        it felt.
Tell me more about that?
    
   :I don’t know… can I take a break
Yes
What happened after that?
       :I don’t know. I don’t remember anything after that. I don’t
        remember falling asleep.
Let’s talk about the following morning. Was he still on the couch with you? 
  
       :Yes
What if anything you can’t forget about the next morning? 
  
       :I can’t forget the feeling of waking up naked not knowing what happened. I felt numb and empty. I was alone in a city that I didn’t know. I
        remember looking at him sleeping on the couch before I left, I
        couldn’t believe he did that to me… I thought we were friends

Pillows getting tired catching teardrops
Searched for boogeyman underneath,
telling him to dry them this time


Wondering how long this would last
Shall I wait until the sun comes up?

No one knew she's dying to die
No one knew she's counting her breath
No one knew she needed help

But then,
no one also knew she survived alone
Drying up her own tears
picking up her broken glass
putting up a brave face
She did not came out from a storm
For she became one

Sometimes,
When I look at him,
I remember that grin.
The one from all my nightmares.
Some days,
When I feel any touch,
I remember your entitled hands,
Reaching for what isn't yours.
Some nights,
My breath gets quiet,
It reminds me of you,
Too close I could hear your breathing,
Too calm to care if I struggled.
Some days,
The birds are chirping loud,
I remember the woods behind your house
I remember the walks,
I remember the hands on my tiny waist
The whistling of the wind as I pulled away,
And your insistent tongue telling me I had no choice.

Do you remember the night you never came back?
When you gave yourself to someone who didn’t deserve you?
And by gave, I mean he took
He took and he took and he took
Until there was no more you to take 
And just like that you are empty 
No one wants a girl who’s got nothing to give 
You have to have learned by now that giving and taking are not the same thing 
Just because you love him
Does not make it giving 
He is taking everything that you are
And he is destroying it
STOP LETTING HIM TOUCH YOU
You’re too young to give him what he’s taking 
And now it’s gone, you can’t get it back
You are no longer special 
You’re going to be washing him out of your skin forever 
But jokes on you 
**** doesn’t wash off 

I’m still trying to wash you off of me