And I take the leap:
        This is what flying feels like
One voice says to me
         This is what falling is
Another voice says

          And I sometimes
                              wonder
                                          which voice I should listen to
          Those are the days
                               I wonder
                                           what flying feels like

           I wonder
                      if I could feel the air in my face
                                                            ­             in my hair
                        spreading my lips into a smile
           Or if all I could feel was an impact
                                       A shattering of bones
                                              A skip of the heartbeat
                                                                ­              and then

           no more....



                                  Was it even worth jumping in the first place then?

If my life last only mere seconds
                                    why even consider it?

                                                               ­   But I think has something to do                              
                                                                ­                        with the difference
                                               between  
                                    living
            ­                                and
                             ­                    barely
                                                        su­rviving

Oh mama oh mama
Feeding blood into my veins
Pouring water down my throat
Squeezing tears from my eyes.

Oh mama oh mama
Breathing air into my lungs
Freeing my blocked airway
Of the food that got stuck.

Spoonful spoonful
Sitting me up
Injecting saliva
And pumping my heart.

Mama oh mama
She is my clockwork
If she stops so will I
So wind me up agian

You've lost your way,
The fog has rolled in.
Your chances of survival
Are a **** sight dim.

Your pretty little face
Wont stay pretty for long,
'Cause death has come
To sing his song.

He is everywhere, nowhere,
He cannot be seen.
You pray for some mercy,
He doesn't hear your pleas.

I've been told how to look
What to feel!
What to say!
So you are expecting me to be a certain way
Surrounded by all these faces I say that I don't fit in
I see less of myself compared to that girl over there laughing ....

But maybe that's  superficial
Maybe she's just like me
Hiding under a shell, and not letting others see
Maybe she wakes up with the biggest regret
Maybe she doesn't want to laugh but that's not right compared to what society says

But I'm here for you girl, and I know you cannot hear
But feel it within that it doesn't end here
I know you feel crushed, hopeless and like nothing else matters
But still feel it inside that it's going to get better

I know you've heard this a million times, better days will come
But believe me when I say the worst has not yet arrived
I know you think its hard and  what's the point in living when you see your self-esteem getting crushed upon even in every single one of your dreams

It will get better, say that out loud
Not because others will make it so, but because you have the guts to throw down what others expect, disagree with what others think, crush down that conformity that society has put you in
You will make it far, try to understand
And once you believe it, the mask you have put on will finally disappear it.

Me
The forgotten me,
I squint to see her
the she before the us
I can't remember her
what did she wear.....
how did she talk.....
did she dance....
did she laugh....
did she enjoy making love?....
she's so lost and forgotten, a pattern out of date.
no longer viable on this new updated model
i can no longer run her program the forgotten me isn't compatable
so i must put her to sleep along with us
This new Me this new version is harder to run
its not as quick or slick
but its strong and resistant with
plenty of armour
an upgrade for the forgotten me

My ship it lies motionless,
nestled in the dunes.
I'm very far away from home,
and I can't find the moon.

I creak and wobble left and right
as I sail among the sand.
Windy gusts will raise the grains
yet carry me throughout this land.

The little boat then takes a turn,
toward a watery reprise.
Struggling the yellow stone,
The boat finds only lies.

As I sail into the night,
my ship it lies motionless,
nestled in the dunes