I know it when I look at you
I’m stirring in your sky
thunderbolts rise up within
telling us to come inside

I feel the wind whip up again
to drowned out all the chaff
scare the flooded fields of crow
lightning deep in us to crash

I built this bed for us by hand
back when those oaks fell
it washed out all the roads to you
rain soaked sheets of skin avail

I’m not what you want to want
you look amazing in afraid
I will hold you tight this time
enough to feel your windows shake

I wish that we could try again
but I will get you back to town
wait and dry out here for you
pray your storm comes back around

Have you ever been forced into a situation where all you feel is,
a rope slowly latching onto your throat and strangling you,
Allowing all the air to escape your lungs?
Have you ever wanted to run away?
Not figuratively speaking,
Literally.
Running away and leaving everything you've ever known.
Leaving all the comfort you've placed yourself in;
A box filled with flowers that fill the air with jasmine and lilac.
Running away from every person that has ever caused you pain,
That has ever caused a scar on your body or mind
Have you ever wanted life to steal your breath away and leave you for dead?
Because I have.
I've never wanted anything more than to just leave.
I want to leave my mind and my body,
I want to escape all that I know because everything feels ten times harder and I feel a hundred times weaker.
The bones in my body can't hold me up straight, the joints won't handle the effort.
I am so done allowing hope to pull me from the black hole that feeds off me.
I am done.  
Life can **** the blood out of me.
I quit.

I feel this weight on my chest,
they say I just need some rest.
It's pulling me deeper and deeper.
With time the grass will be greener.
Something enormous is suffocating me.
Like I'm drowning and I can't get back up.
But no one can see the pain,
I guess it's all in my brain.
They say everything is okay,
to push the pain away.
But how will I heal,
if I just conceal?

Everything is crushing me
Silently the world passes by
Onlookers without love
Demons plaguing their lungs

But demons plague me as well
The dust stuck to my lips
Gravel caught in my teeth
The bootheel against my throat

Yes, everything is crushing me
As I try to carry the world
Everything is crushing me
Because I'm under the water

The cloud.
I am nearly suffocated, forced not to speak of it.
Or else it will hear me.
It will mutate my whispers into horror stories,
stories one hears only when they are wholly
unwilling to.

One second, it's just a sliver of darkness
peering through the slight crack in the door.
Then, the door opens
without my consent,
letting it all in.

Then,
the cloud occupies my mind,
and
the darkness occupies my existence.
Everything is contorted into something
that it is not.
And I completely
lose sight
and right mind
of who
I
am.

I'm suffocating.
I want to claw my way out of my skin
Not caring how ****** and torn I'd be, for I am that already
A shredded corpse disguised as whole
Mimicking the beat from a counterfeit heart.

I'm imploding.
Being pulverized by crushing defeat
Innocence vanquished and forgotten
A casualty of immense desolation.

I'm disintegrating
Vanishing from existence
Evaporating from memory
Until all that remains is.......

My body refuses to breathe,
I heard her words but they won't register
Instead I am left here without air.
I'm so sorry
No, this isn't real
My vision is turning black.
I know how much she meant to you
Why won't I breathe?
This is wrong.
But everyone has to leave at some point
I feel wrong
The funeral is tomorrow
She's gone.