I charge to apprehend

          the journey of a wheel

                    for the exhilarating chemicals

                              of crushed toes

I had another dream
(Which is rare for me at night)
I had a bruised arm
Like I'd gotten in a fight
And when people asked about it
I didn't know what to say
Wether to tell others I made them
Or if I should brush questions away

When I have a yen to sin , I do it with my unbounded pen.

Thick black ink turns blood, spills in a mysterious patterns,

And it simultaneously writes my own redemption.

My spirit undergoes a transformation,sings freedom song.

In this unreal plane of my action, I become  superhuman.

Every word that swims in the deluge of emotions quickly,

Sends SOSs, incessant, demanding sublimation.It's done.

I pay heed and then find,  I am in the word's possession.

That decides, what would be my next course of action.

I stay firmly put between agitating emotions and imagination.

When I’m in The Land of Nod
Why do I misunderstand the characters there?
How am I constantly surprised
By what they do?
And shocked at the things that happen?
For they are all creations of my own Subconscious Mind.

It seems the “Conscious” Me is at the mercy
Of the Subconscious Id.
But how can this be?
The Id is part of me
Supposedly.
Yet it’s as if The Id
Is another person
Residing within myself,
Toying with the Conscious Me.
(Is this why some get voices in their heads?).

So is this “waking” Life of ours
But a more orderly, clearer Dream?
A dream created by some Super Id
From which we will awaken soon,
To rise into an even clearer Realm
Called Heaven?

Reality is the strangest thing
When viewed this way.
Yet maybe some day
We’ll understand.

Paul Butters

I walk in this dense realm, with shattered memory's of my past life.
The gods are afraid to come down into the dense wilderness.
Its grown Hard to escape this plain.
what are the memories trying to tell me!
This time I will come back with my horsemen, frequency's aligned.
Shifting into the next degree of time.
Is it impending doom or is it  just rebirth?
a next stage of evolution on this earth.
breaking walls, yet they took over the surface world.
The true nature of the world surfaces.
What is this vision trying to show me.
Should I climb the tree of life for answers?

My life as of last has been and eye opening, head first dive of exploration interrupted by one, sometimes two day long binges of unpleasant sobriety.

Three long years after writing the first stanza,
The drugs still being explored
This has led me to a more beautiful understanding of myself and my few remaining friends
However it seems that I have taken a significant tumble down the socioeconomic ladder
At least my writing has gotten neater
No longer shaken by the withdrawal of a still desired drug

Alcohol has a way of calming and inspiring me
Bringing forth the thoughts I cannot make into sound
My few remaining friends cut down into a seemingly impossible smaller number
I now awake in the night with cold sweats that interrupt my slumber.

Dreams of panic and anxiety, Now clouded with past faces.
Personifications of things inside me
Faces made of thoughts and feelings, Taking over occupied spaces
Forcing out the beautiful and imaginative
Subconscious taking charge, So the conscious may live.

People try to tell me that your thoughts are not you
That they’re not your character
But what better presentation of your character
Then the voice of your subconscious
And the screams of your demons