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Espresso manic Oct 2018
They always said the sky is the limit,
But they never said how to get there.

When the twists of life tried to keep me down,
i ran away.
When they came back for me,
i packed my bags and ran.
The bags slowed me down and yet, i couldn’t leave them behind.

During my escape i planned my journey and met more travelers.
Their bags seemed as heavy as mine, but our grips were adamant to the load.
Eventually i dared to fly.
Flying was easy. Up in the air, where gravity’s pull is weaker
made my bags lighter, and I soar higher.

Did i dare fly too high? Did i forget about the bags?
Oh mama, no one told me to be careful of flying too high.
Now i’m back to running,
running for one more breath of pure air.
alias Oct 2018
What is life without tragedy?
I heard once, that a man with no sadness has no dignity
I mean it's kinda sexist but you get the gist.

I could spill my entire heart,
cough it up onto the floor.
But don't tell me you don't wanna keep this up a little more?
like true artists we derive our beauty from our pain,
and if I can be your inspiration honey
then at least we didn't do this in vain.
I could say so much but I'll keep my lips shut tight,
I will say this though,
I distinctly think about one night.
It's not sad no, quite the opposite in fact
after everything fell apart, in drunk and loneliness
I went back.
That's all I'll say, I'm pushing buttons because
you're hovering over mine so slightly.
God, I need to learn to be like you
and sew the strings between my lips, tightly.
It's sort of nice like this, artistic impression
of I suppose our most honest thoughts, truthfully.
For you say so little when we do talk,
but boy do you ever write beautifully.
not so sad for once
alias Oct 2018
I'll bury all my secrets in my skin,
come away with innocence
but bleed my truthful sins.
the world around me feels like
a tight cage
and "I love you", is just a camouflage
for your next episode of rage.

If you do love me, let me go
I'll probably run away before I truly know
my heart is too black to care,
is it destroyed if it was never really there?

I'll find my penance, delivered to my true state
if I'm alone I have no one to hate,
but myself.

My love was banished long ago,
if you still care don't ever let me know.

Angels will lie to keep control
making over heaven like some paradise we all want to go
dead trees are painted white
and she calls them beauty, art.

My selfish thoughts colour my life
and I call that my heart.

If I had to fix myself I don't know where I'd start
But I suppose,
I'd cut each limb to the bone
and tear my entire self apart.
inspired partly by ***** by Slipknot. and the insanity that is my life and mind lately.
alias Oct 2018
hey,

where did we get ourselves today?
are we making progress, healing ourselves
or still basking in the glow of yesterday?
You're not in love with me anymore, contrary to what you think
I believe you're in love with the girl three years ago
that made your heart soar and sing.
You're in love with what we were,
let's not pretend.
But we're different now
my rings are gone, that girl three years ago is dead.
I'm not so lost, not so broken
not so much leaning on a substance to keep my eyes open.
But that was all you,
you were the glue that fixed me.
You manifested someone new,
and now you're not in love with me.

I'm still her, I guess
just put together, in heels and a pretty dress.

Maybe in time this will all make sense.
Maybe one day we won't be confined
to confusing lines
on an ambiguous url address.

Maybe one day,
we can confess our truths

truth is,
that's all I ever wanted from you.
honesty. transparency.
alias Sep 2018
He's right

I've got too much baggage
I'm too ****** up
I'm disgusting
I told everyone it doesn't effect me but it does.

He told me everything I've ever hated about myself,
from day one,
I've thought, I've said
all of these things.

It's really no surprise to me.
Maybe he's just the only one that could be honest.
Everyone was else was just too scared.

Everyone who knows me, agrees with him silently
but tells me it's okay
that everyone deserves love
but it's hard for me to think that way.

I will never inflict myself on anyone ever again.
I'll keep people close, but not too close
mere acquaintances or friends

I'll hide my true self deep inside
until the very end.
no one told me he was wrong.
he's right
I really don't deserve anything based on the person I was
he's right
everyone's always had a problem with me
I'm disgusting.
sorry.
Saint Audrey Sep 2018
Could you stay the same
For just one more day

Could you stay
The same
For
Just
One more day

Do you feel that weight?
Starting to shake
Distant thunder begins to roar

I exist through sleepless nights
And the chances
As the first few drops start falling down

Pleasure and pain
Human traits
Vying for attention in the back of lucid nightmares

Everyone is the same, after all

Could you stay the same
For
One
More
Day
witchy woman Sep 2018
empty

nothingness

numbness

I have

succumb to

what I've learned

from early on.

Numb yourself

when the hurt

is too strong.

Numb yourself

when you

feel like

you can no

longer go on.

Numb yourself

so you can

pretend you're

strong.

Numb yourself

so you can

last, just another day

Numb yourself

so you don't

have to die

today.
Francis Sep 2018
What do people see,
What do people see,
When they see me,
What do they see?

Am I absolutely,
Positively,
Worthy,
Of glory?
Am I smart,
Bright,
Sweet,
And funny?

Am I big,
Round,
Short,
Or tall?
Do I push them away,
Or attract them all?

Do I make them smile,
Or appear to be small?
Do they even notice me,
Just a small amount at all?

Week days come,
Weekends go,
I’ll never be as perfect as I hoped so,
‘Cuz I assume they see greed,
When looking at me,
When all they see,
Is what’s outside of me.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
CP Sep 2018
Dear you, I know you hate the way clothes fit
but you run around calling out confidence, you hypocrite.
Stop covering your face with hair
people just don't care.

Dear you, I know you count the numbers and your days
praying you'd be lighter
so small you might float away.

Dear you, I know in the mirror you're not gentle
hurling abuse at the person in the reflection
are you hoping through rejection she'll change?
Even when you don't say the words they linger in your throat
waiting to -

Dear you, hating yourself is easy
you're full of questions and hate
'put down the plate'
hating yourself is getting into bed in darkness and listening to raindrops

Dear me, please stop.
You're tired of fighting everyone and then yourself
You're tired of catching your reflection looking at you for some validation
i'm yearning for love and i'm tired of starvation

Dear you, you will get out of bed and open the blinds,
you will make it better
I'm sorry for all i've put you through

Dear you, step-by-step unacounted for, I will look after you.
Colm Sep 2018
Tear the idea limb from limb, until the acorn of truth falls.
And then, rend the earth and begin again.
Until another, and another
And another thought begins.
Growing slowly with every Fall.
Acorns everywhere. So are thoughts. Growing. Let them go.
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