Theres a lingering cloud when we conversate
An awkward vibe we never mention
Long gone are our banters and cute debates
Keeping feelings minimal, avoiding questions

The adorable messsages we used to send
Are they ever coming back or was that it?
Loving like we used to, is that real or just pretend
Keep my broken heart if we ever do split

You're slowly fading away from me
I don't even think you realise
All i can do is let you be
And let me deal with all the cries.

Perhaps it was the distance
Or maybe it was just the time
All of this gives me grievance
I just want you to remain mine.

i feel closer to you
when i put words on paper

this one's difficult to write
even years later

do you believe me now?
you thought i was a liar

how could anyone love
a soul full of fire

you have demons of your own
i know it's bittersweet

see, you're a stubborn love
you're just like me

i wave goodbye to the past
because i don't wanna see

i'll love you from a distance
that's how it has to be

I always feel two steps behind
No matter what the topic at hand
Even things I'm sure that I'm sure of
You can break down that certainty
Within seconds

Make me doubt the person
That I know myself to be
I dare you
Convince me that I am someone else
Because I'm stubborn until I'm afraid

Afraid to be laughed at
Afraid to be judged
Afraid to be made into a fool

So I take the initiative and laugh it off
Because declaring "I'm just an idiot",
"I don't know anything about anything"
Or simply keeping my mouth shut
Is far easier than hearing it elsewhere

You said "no way it can't be done"
you've never seen the power of one

When the fire was lit to drive me more
I called on God with all  that lay before

It started with a spark to get it going
They look and asked "what is she doing"

I did it for the one that needed a voice
The innocent one who they said had no choice.

They called  me stubborn and even a pain
I don't mind for  I'll do it again.

At one
Life had begun,
I could walk,that was fun,
Always smothered with kisses,mummy's yummy bun.
At two,
I grew too,
Did everything I wanted to do,
Again and again,then undo,
Refused to go to the loo,
Loved to spill the shampoo,
Stubborn as a mule,
With tears, buckets of boo.
At three ,
I was free,
No pampers,mum in glee,
Went to loo to ***,
Hated milk, loved tea,
Fell often, grazed my knees.
At four,
Could do small chores,
Wipe a spill on the floor,
For visitors open door,
My own clothes I wore,
A glass of water I could pour.
At five,
I was alive,
A queen bee in a hive,
I learned to thrive,
First time I learned to swim and dive.
At six ,
I was a bag of tricks,
Just for kicks,
Smart at solving conflicts,
Easily able to come out of a fix,
Clever and confident, teachers'
best pick.

entirely at fault
the Ubermensch
within
will still find
a means
of spreading the blame
beyond
the limits of responsibility

even these words
pass the blame
onto something
that can be claimed
as being
beyond my control

so is it even
really
my fault
at all?