she was a horror movie...
but,
he was a ******* coward
who died within the first 5 minutes.

Everything is moving,
Everything is too fast.

Life is loosing momentum,
Life has become a drag.

How do I make the sounds slow down?
How can I silence a hunger so loud?

When my heart beat resonates like a drum.
When my ears are hot they start to erupt.

I can’t feel me,
I have lost me.

Who can hear me?
Who can help me?

Say I’m enough?
Say I’m strong?

Inside I feel weak.
Outside I don’t belong.

How to forget?
How to live another day?

Stay and fight?
Run and escape?

What will **** the memories?
What will numb the pain?

I am alone?
I am ok?

Is there another way?
Is this the end?

Can I end it?
Can I end it all today?

I fight,
I live another day?

There is this place inside
Whose door is tightly shut
But strangers still trespass
Without a key or a polite knock
Some stay, others bang the door and dash out.
Is this your heart?

You crumpled my heart,
just as casually as you step and crumple the useless fallen leaves.
I then realized that there I no point to sit and grieve.
I thought that I could trust you again,
but oh I was wrong.

You broke me again,
but this time it made me indefinitely strong.

a thousand poems stronger,
write in freedom flowing,
rhyming, sashaying, gingers flying,
an exercise in 15 minute segments,
18 hours daily, easy peasy,
I’ll have my thousand in a mere
13.8888888888888 days, then
what the heck am I do with those now
superfluous 6 hours a weekly wastrels?

drink.

it doesn’t get better
we just forget about it for awhile
until everything comes flashing back
even stronger this time