C Tyler Aug 2017
I can pretend,
Like I'm ok,
I can hold back my tears,
Just to get through the day.

I can put on a facade,
Like I'm alright,
Just to lose another battle,
As I succumb to the night.

I can imagine,
I'm doing just fine,
Nothing ever changed,
Like a key to a lock,
You were always mine,
You would always stay.

I'm not gonna pretend,
I'm not ok,
I'll shed the facade,
I'm not alright,
It's not my imagination,
I'm not just fine.

I want to cry all night,
I want to cry all day,
Lost in the safety of memories,
Locked into this pain.

There is no way to hide the shame,
Of a fatherless Dame.

You lie in your hospital bed,
Dying, withering, wasting away.

A decade has passed, you call for me,
But still,
Is what I say.

I'm pretending to be ok,
Locked away,
Isolated insanity.
C. Tyler
My estranged father had 2 strokes and may have lung cancer, now he wants to see my sister and I after a decade or so. I learned this news 7/22/17, I have yet to call the hospital. I'm not an angry, hateful, harsh person who holds grudges, but I just don't know what to say...what can I say...."I hope those drugs were worth it"...this is why I haven't called yet clearly.
C Tyler Jul 2017
Lipstick stained cheeks,
"Tag, you're it",
Chasing you around our apartment,
You got into some shi-!
"Come here, let's play"
We can go out or stay in,
But it's hot these days.
You don't talk, you can't say,
What you want
How you wanna play.
But no matter how hard,
No matter how tough,
I love you Tyler
Very, very much.
C. Tyler
  Jul 2017 C Tyler
As the tears are drying
And the heart stops hurting
And the love starts fading

*She also stops writing
Turns out heartbreak and love is her favorite muse.

I miss reading and writing :( Sorry friends, haven't been on the site lately, and I think I'll be gone for some more time..
I badly need a break *sigh*
C Tyler Jul 2017
All my friends and family are social,
They have friends and know people.

Then there's me, happily isolated,
Just writing and reading,
Lost in some trance of some fairytale land,

Also me....
And my stuffed animals,
The real world I've long abandoned,
Heard but no one's understanding.
C. Tyler
I'm just OK I guess, I don't know.
C Tyler Jul 2017
Oh I've never loved another,
The way I love this little fella,
He drives me up a wall,
And makes me smile
Like a sun bright and yellow.
Do you ponder,
My secret lover,
Well its not too serious,
It's just I just need this brother,
Head's hard as a rock,
Heart light as a feather,
And with him,
I feel his love forever,
My son Tyler Jones,
Shines bright in any weather.
C. Tyler
C Tyler Jul 2017
Alone is all we ever are,
Solemn like that hanging star,
Alone is all we'll ever be,
Alone with you, Alone with me,
Alone is all we'll ever know,
For alone is now and wherever you go,
Alone is all it takes,
To break,
To fake,
To find,
To live,
To try,
To die,
Alone is all we'll ever be,
Just you, me,
Alone with our sanity.
C. Tyler
C Tyler Jul 2017
We are,
All of us,
We stand,
We fall,
Isolated loneliness,
Mission your heart,
Target acquired,
Send in the love squad,
Speak up,
For now,
Or never
And ever
Be quiet,
Hold your tongue,
Just breath,
Our wings are sore
Won't stop us,
We still soar,
Don't suffer away,
From me another day
Just drown in me,
Die in our eternity.
Learning to love you,
Learning to love me,
Loving to learn
How to love,
Making love from nothing,
That's something,
Let's make enough love for everyone,
Because love is free.
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