Is it Strange

Is it strange that when I look at you all I see is the black and blue
All the hatred that once filled you seems to melt away when you look at her
Recall the times
Kicks and punches the smirks as bitter as limes
I see you,
I see you now laughing as if nothing has ever happened
Is is strange that people don't know the real him
The child that would expose me in a second if he had the chance
The one who wouldn't dare say his feelings
The one who would throw his peelings in delight and content
If it meant he had to move from his placing he would refuse
Amuse the others around you with all of my flaws
Do you know I'm here
Is it strange that you have so many friends when you won't even bother to make the mends of the others who have left
Leave them falling behind in their own blood and tears
Cause I beg of you,
Look in the mirrors
I have fallen in love so many times
That love ,
That love quickly faded as you shove me down those cold stairs
That love that never really had its chance
That love that was always pushed down by thousands of emotions and nonexistent sadness that you are filled with
Is it strange I am sent home to cry yet you go with your happiness set high
All the words ever said
All truth has fled
I lie in my bed
I wonder
I wonder if you remember me
Ah, she...
Braces and that big smile
Full with denial of this terrible world
She just twirled and kept on walking
Quite the dreamer
Is it strange that now all the dreams have been ****** away
Her luck is now fading
Is it strange she used to to cut
Shut out by everyone in her mind
She now dresses darkly
She thinks all eyes are looking towards her
Disapproval
Is it strange,
Is it strange we have both changed
A quick glance in the hall
Extended leg to fall
Now, if hit by a playground ball she could simply break
Is it strange she is now a snowflake
So delicate
To land on a mitt
Quickly melt away in shyness
Falling slowly to her death
Is it strange that the girl now sits
She sits alone typing away
Is it strange that I see that boy
Only every day

My friends all think I'm crazy because I stand in the middle of the street and talk to a God that doesn't exist while high-fiving the windshields of passing school buses. I stopped taking my medication again because guilt taste a lot better than artificial happiness, and I stopped wearing that cross you bought me for my eight birthday because it contradicted the sense of uselessness I received for my twelfth. Life seems a lot less precious when you're talking to your parents in the TV room of a psychiatric unit and look them in the eyes while they tell me not to cry and say that 'pain is only temporary'. All I do is write letters to a man on the moon about the time I realized how hard and easy it is to die. Send me to therapy and make me take pills. I'll smile, but I'll always remember how to tie a noose

I try in my mind
To truly define
What it is that you think when you see me

Do you cower with fear
When I come near
Or just tag me with brutal indifference

Could there be something there?
Or should I not care
What the choice of your words mean to me

Is there something wrong
With my desperate old song
Or am I just chasing that old wild goose once again

Well get some insight
On my messed up cruel mind
And fill in the jokers you've sent me...

So often I find myself
Engrossed in conversations
I am not a part of
When I am alone
On the bus
At school
In any shop
I hear interesting snippets
Of stories
Or annoying gossip
Sometimes I will
Count how many times
They say like
One girl
Said it 37 times
In six minutes
I laugh at peoples jokes
Or the stupidity of their statements
To amuse myself
And pass time
I know you do too
Because we hear something hilarious
Or weird
Or something we wish we hadn't
And we make eye contact
And laugh
At the weird things you hear
While eavesdropping

there is a world unknown out there
begging and pleading for me to
play with it for a little while

but how can I turn one familiar one away
for thousands of unknown ones that may
or may not be disappointing or fantastic

suppose one other one was fantastic
more fantastic than this familiar one
I would never know because I would never stray

so now I confide in you, stranger
I ask you with hopeful ears
should I go or should I stay?

Mouths move to
Abstract sounds
Musings
Lounge ice cream
Meltings
Of black and white
Drippings
Out of the frames
Of old pictures

If I, strangely, die
You'll be the last one to know
And the last to care.