Life is not hateful. Nature is.

A person can't make It happen so
he acts as a shark and moves without remorse, though
a mere ten second's contemplation
and emotional, intellectual understanding
of the things he, without sorrow, ignites in his wake,
would be enough to force his hand to
tie that well deserved noose and slip it around
his slimy neck and hang himself dead.
He, much like a snake, is deaf to the
screams of those he has bitten, and blind
to the ruin behind him. His one track mind -
his selfish mind - which blocks out all that his nature doesn't wish
for him
to acknowledge - does
for him
what is convenient
for him.
Eliminates the reality
for him.
That is his nature's wish.

She has cigarettes
in place of **** to be said.
She does not say much.

I don’t think I have
people happy to see me
and all these “artists”

are impressionists,
somehow living alone has
become a statement.

I consume myself,
and am neither satisfied
or disappointed.

Lobotomize me
Make me dumb
Take my voice away
So I’ll never hurt again
The less I speak
The more I feel apathy
Its in trying to connect
That I feel distant
No point trying
To clear these gaps

Lobotomize me
Out of necessity
So I won’t lose any more
Can’t be happy
Can’t be sad

Lobotomize me
So my desires will fade
And I’ll be left drooling at my bedside
While the beasts congregate around me
Ripping my flesh
Replacing my memories with their own

Lobotomize me
So I can be happy not being the protagonist

I caught her staring at me again
I can't quite place
A name to the expression
she has when I catch her
looking
but it's different from when
she doesn't know i'm watching her
watching me
from the corner of my eye

She never brought up the 'notes'
even the one I wrote out of rage
I don't remember putting it
into her bag

But is she afraid
curious
spiteful
disgusted
What name can I for a fact
put to the face she makes
when she stares

And when I catch her

Your heart is blacker than the ace of spades.
Its shriveled beyond all recognition
Nothing decent lives in your darkened soul.
Go back to whichever hell you came from.
Theres no place for you in the world of men.

There is a fine line between love and hate

I walk that line with you

Hand in hand, looking into your glass eyes.

Eyes so blue...eyes so cold

Hands that are warm but not kind

A heart much too cruel

A mind blinded by a false truth...

A soul..your soul...is left to wander in anguish.

Along its way, it scatters the foolish to a sunder.

No sound of desperate despair from their quavering lips..

But tear drops never the less.

I want to be the only desire you have
when you wake up in the middle of the night
sweating for pleasure;
where the tension is so strong
I stir in my sleep to ask you what is the matter
and you timidly answer that you had a nightmare,
even though it's a lie
and you're too shy to admit to your carnal need
and express that the real reason you're awake
is because your dream
nearly made you wet
and it disturbed you
because the person in your head at the time
wasn't me.

It all seemed so real,
until you woke up with my small frame beside you,
with my chest rising and falling slowly
and the growing pressure against your boxer briefs
was becoming too much
as you stared at my smooth skin.
I nearly frightened you when I asked of your well-being,
you didn't think that wishing I would wake
would work.
As you told me you had woken from terror,
I turned over drowsily
crawling over you
to embrace you with kisses
and 'everything will be alrights.'

When you started to shiver
from my affections
I knew that there were other reasons
we both had stirred like this
in the middle of the night.
Our passion became heated,
but I could smell the guilt on you.
Something was wrong,
something was the matter.
We continued though
until we both finished in each others' sweat
and had inhaled enough of one-another's carbon dioxide
to save thousands of trees.

Only then did you tell me
another had tasted who I wanted
so badly to keep
for my own
for the rest of my life.
Only then did you tell me
you did me wrong
in so many ways.
Only then did you tell me
that you no longer dreamed of me
and you abandoned me.
Just like everyone else.
Just like you promised...


That you never would.