hang futile objects
and applaud the bursting of their vessels
nod with approval their reddening eyes
as life is drained and colour destroyed
clear blue or jade
now messed up and strained
burst screaming out of the skull
commend the death of things
the sitters of chariots
the masters of dogs
the burners of oil
have no use for
who redesigned nature
can not benefit from
who for ourselves
and conduct the orchestra of an axel´s
Now think of what you´ve done
And all that´s occurred
Stew in unstable chemistry
And the **** that you´ve stirred
Boredom burnt to ashes
Morals and values blurred
Now look to the mirror at your cold unmoving face
Your lips don´t frown at memories fraught with ****-ups
Your brow doesn´t furrow with fear of the future
Your eyes aren´t inflected with sadness or affection
Despite the big mouths doing their damnedest to dispute you
Heartless ******* in a cold reflecting glass. Expressionless.
I love you not
But I easily could
Given enough time
Half way there
Stuck in a tunnel
Backing out blindly brings pain,
And forwards, clearly, I see the wreckage.
And you're crying at one end
And me at the end of the other.
Chased alone by Exterior Judgment he found himself face to face with The Mirror,
Its surface winked at him, but the person who stared back from within did not.
And then came his Interior Judgment. He asked of The Mirror,
“Phase me out,
Obliterate this judgment I feel.
Make me concrete
against which solitude will
beat its relentless fist
so that I will no longer bleed or bruise”
And so came his christening, the depth of shallow water.
For years he paddled and splashed there knowing his time would come,
Because this was where real pleasures lurked, just beyond his reach.
“Cloak me here,
Keep me invisible to all,
Except those who matter,
And then take me blindly to my coffin”
And one day, while he lay in the pool, he felt the world’s foot on his back,
And he gasped for air, though for what use he didn’t know.
Years later when he finally captured his breath, the only words left were:
“Make it stop.
Make it stop.
Make it stop.”
And now he stares back into The Mirror and the Mirror glares back.
And he wonders who he could’ve been.
Where all those years had been spent.
Misery is an unrelenting downward escalation.
The heaviness of trapped energy becomes real weight,
it drags you down and fastens you into position,
a relaxed position, though you are not relaxed.
Placed this way, you burn as unstable chemicals burn,
fall as heavy objects fall when dropped by those
who possess them.
You are abandoned.
Left to stew in this pit of flames.
Those you danced and laughed with stop holding you hand,
for who would wish to cling to a burning thing?
This is why you deal with The Issue alone.
Because those who claim not to need anybody are liars
who wish to justify their solitude,
who wish to bury the fact that their companions,
when proven incapable of helping, no longer wish to help.
Alone, you are disgusted with them.
But now you understand. You do not act as they do
when the black clouds part because you have gained more
alone than they ever will together. And when you see
the blue sky again and regain your ability to fly
you will forever leave them and theirs behind.
Torn between a hundred mindsets,
never resting on one.
See-sawing back and forth,
swinging high and low.
Spinning on the roundabout,
experiencing a thousand views and one.
There's no black and white.
Who would want to see in such binary vision
when the multitudinous colours are
incomprehensibly twisted and ugly
and so rich and beautiful?
Duality? Quadrupality? Infinitality.
by your good nature.
your friendly nature
that I can't achieve.
as a loving human
who I don't understand.
and the worst part is...
I can scream.
but you won't hear a word
It's like a furious
D R E A M
yell and yell and yell
and the person I yell
at simply laughs.
because happy people are ignorant people.
you're not hearing me.
YOU'RE NOT HEARING ME
****. ******* ****.
barging in at people
begging them to like you
there's nothing I hate
more than that *****
So take your sincere desire
to be loved regardless
of how the ramifications
of your actions caused
by your desires affect those close to home
and beat it and beat it and beat it and **** it and choke it then put
I'm not proud of these emotions. Hopefully someone can relate. Somehow.