if only the world wasn't filled with hate.
if only the world wasn't filled with people degrading another.
if only the world wasn't filled with jealousy.  
if only the world could be healed from its broken heart.
if only the world could be filled, fully with true genuine love.
it can be hard.
i know.
if only we knew the blessings we had all this time.
if we had laid them in a row, it would have been infinite, uncountable, that if we were to list them down, time would have run out of our hands.
one day, we would be reunited with the heavens above.
and all this could finally be fulfilled, that finally this empty world is filled.
whole and healed.
but for now, i would be wandering at the plains of this broken, hurting, world.

I held in vain
The hope that you'd change
And stop making me feel
Like I'm doing something wrong

In future, will, tended to how it ends, etched into the slate
Ground straight through our skin from birth, what we choose to replicate
Pointless as a new endeavor, still, another sick debate
Debased all sense of decency, enough to incriminate

Hopeless days
Keep passing by
Complete and vacant
Yet I still try

Arguably, far too jaded for this measure of reality
Wrested from our nestled coffins, directly into sleep
Fleeting things, though labeled clearly, time will never tell
Entrancing, some formality, a sliver of repetition is

But I stayed
The same
For all this time
In the hopes
You'd see me off

Still, crawling to the overture, slight against the weak
Long, death still operates, each future growing bleak
Shrouded heart of all uncertainty, for myths, voluminous  
Captive, my apotheosis, in a metric of release

At the end
I still respect
The autonomy, I can see you smile
So go ahead
I won't keep you waiting

I load my silver tongue with brass
crass and hollowed-points may be my nature
**** my thoughts, take aim
and with plosive sputter,
sling my brain
with metal hatred

Fling my words in forked contention,
misattribute my cold-hearted intentions,
with passion a fervor holds convection,
'Till pride produce the bituminous heavens

But still,
with marksman's gaze will you free my lies,
your scope of view between the ghostly sights
and trigger a sensationalist enterprise
for which all my lies will bleach
From red to white,
Tartarous sheen

There are words severed from man,
and as they hang their heads for the guillotine,
has any body stopped to ask,
"What do they mean"?

But the wheel cannot cease revoluting,
just as the rifle cannot beget its shooting,
Without the fatal trace of careful phrase,
fingered around the triggered maze
These words will fly
hot metal and lye
Awash the ****** floor of dissident
and acidic representation

Till all the light of spoken rhyme,
will dine upon the littered flames

My gaze guides pink and blue of quiet calculator
Searching for the LCD
Hidden behind a pointless screen
As the outside pours itself upon me

It really tickles the soul,
The unbounding energy
I twist and shout as my skin furls
Curls with the waves of R.L-itty biting Goosebumps

Yet I can see between the trees of an old office park
The burned remains of waxy candle-like light
scattered across the rainy windowpanes
that fell around me in an amniotic metal box
I filled with an unopened lung

And behind the neon light she danced pretty as a queen
A silhouette, a silent dream
And I saw her in the drops of heaven,
In the rains of light,
And in the fuzzy deep inside
that echoed the hearty rumble of an engine
And carried me through wet asphalt
Of an unending night

Until I found a bridle

To bewitch she would let me ride

Yet in knowing ways she would dissatisfy,
Show the glaring between her eyes,
Tell me all the things between the sky
The she felt kept us from touching

No amount of metal screen
Or electronic ideation
Will fix the willful sublimation
of our shackled spirits
To realms out of reach

With human aye I fill my gaseous pouch
with the leathery sickly burning draught
of aromatic spinning gin and tonic
The threw my head over the bar
And out the door, into oiled alley,
Where She and I met lips there
Where we both smelled of reek
And Where weak minds tortured like glass
stained with the memories of fine wine

And a sense of overpowering divine

When we paired and parted,
Left for spheres
And both sought some different way out of..
here.

From the very first day that we met, I knew you were the one for me. We were engaged for a very short period of time. We got married right at an instant just like a fast-paced bullet, a speedy train and in a most unprecedented way.

You were there all the time to hear me out, you were there to hear all the pains that I had in the past and made sure that these are just specks in life that can be fixed with you beside me.

We've made it through the years and fought to keep each other strong. We were able to overcome obstacles that only by God’s grace we have survived. God has given us the greatest gift in life and blessed us with 2-little angels. You allowed me to pick a name for them (Kirsten and Aamira).

Yes, I admit it was too difficult for me to utter these 3-magical words "I-LOVE-YOU". But God knows, every second of every minute never did I fail to show it to you in a manner that only you understood. As they say, "Actions speak louder than words".
Last year, 2016 had been a roller-coaster of emotion. And I thought, that would be the dreadest year that I would have. I even remembered you asking me to get back to the real me as you can't go on with LIFE without me. With a great 'hurrah', we were able to surpass this 'bump'.

Here's comes the new year, 2017 full of hopes, telling each other that this would be the greatest year that we "could" have in our marriage. I was even too ignorant to book a flight but been asking my friends to help me. But, these were all useless, worthless, pointless....

I didn't know that you were sick; it all happened so fast. Death has climbed in through our windows. My Dearest Darling. I am not as strong as I thought I was. Since you have been gone, I sit and cry all night long. But, I know you're in a better place. Though, I may no longer be able to see your face I know you're smiling down there, cheering on me and telling me that everything's okay.
No Goodbyes just ‘SEE YOU SOON’…

You will say: “You’ve been holding out on me!” -
and that will be the day when this landslide of poetry
Finally comes spilling from my lips, because I can no longer withhold it -
And you will awake in the gardens that I’ve been growing here,
Looking at me with brand new eyes, like you’ve never really known me before,
Or seen me, or felt me, and we will roll together
Among these soft petals of imageries, fingernails like lilies
As you lift the pages, see them turning, these little white leaves,
Changing with the different seasons of visions and daydreams,
Thousands of hours passing in your eyes blinking, reading,
A living river of emotions flowing into those irises, of
All the things I cannot speak or explain or convey
When you are sitting here in silence, gazing deeply into me,
And I am leaning into your warm shoulder, wondering,
How I can turn these precious moments
Into the best kind of poetry.