It was in the warmth
of her body
where I found ecstasy
my fingertips laced
in the spaces between hers
our thumbs painting
each other's palms in subtlety
her head rests on my arm
my head rests on hers
in the midst of each other's surrender

and yet somehow,
even ecstasies
end in sober

Well I guess this is me,
They say once you’ve hit rock bottom you can only go upwards,
Well I hit the rock and pushed up into my mind,
Revealed the sky and shot up into the night.
Though all the scars and torture I’ve trodden those that are tattooed on my skin,
The mud might have weighed down my boots but I’m stronger now than I ever have been.

A somewhat sober somebody, turning my life into something instead of melting into another nothing.

"I got something to tell you, but don't know how I'ma say it
I guess that I could only say one thing
Boy, I been bad again, Boy, I been bad again
And I use 'em
When I'm faded I forget
Forget what you mean to me
Hope you know what you mean to me
Pick, up your phone
The party's finished and I want you to know
I'm all alone..."
...
I been using them to distract me.
I been using them for fun.
But, the parties finished, and I want you to know, I'm all alone, and I always want you when I'm coming down.

Addicted, to fun like it's a drug.
I take what I like and I like what I take.
But, I always just want you, when I'm coming down.
Baby, don't leave me.
Don't be angry, they not important.
You are.
I need you, not them.
They just toys, but you something special.
I am rather secretive and discreet about my intentions and motives, I don't tell, I don't whisper a word.
I do this sin, without anybody knowing.
No one, but me knows.
I just, always want you, when I'm coming down, daddy.

Like a drug,
You seep out of my skin;
The withdrawal makes me feel dizzy,
Unable to stand or support myself.
My mind craves of nothing but you,
I hate being sober.

I'm done living like this,
Depending on substances,
My last sweet bottle kiss,
Not everyone gets second chances.

Tired of disappointing my dad,
Wasting paycheck after paycheck,
Just to feeling anything but bad,
Finally turning around this shipwreck.

Only 8 days sober from alcohol,
74 days clean from harder drugs,
Sometimes it feels like i hit a wall,
But i'm reminded by those hugs.

Reminded why i stopped,
Why i don't need these anymore,
Life's like cherries topped,
I'm not your little *****.

The air smells cleaner,
The clouds aren’t as grey,
I used to be so much meaner,
Glad to be here another day.

Cravings for a hit
Hints of sin begin within
Winning bit by bit