The room in starlight bathed
My body unscathed
Swimming indoors
sheets are shores

Wash over me like the tide
for I don't sleep at night
Swimming indoors
where it always pours

Moon reflection
on my cushion
Swimming indoors
following ancient lores

Diving deep to find
an Atlantis on my mind
Swimming indoors
til reaching the dream's source

Ghosts in my heart won't leave
Play with feelings then hide
Drive me crazy with unseen tricks
Patience a trait hard to find

Sanity dwindling swiftly down
Falling into an abyss of madness
A vision created with perfection in mind
Deciphered into instructions for false happiness

Remain alive, blueprints collapsing
Dark shadows in my peripheral appear
Asphalt scented with burning regret
Heated by sun, cooled by tears

Left foot in the entryway
Other on the shaking ground
Walk through the threshold
Eyes closed, waiting to be found

As if I am an item worth searching for
Know there's no one looking for me
Pain, sadness, damaged self-esteem
All anyone ever sees

It is 1AM and I'm falling apart
Sheets really constrict and choke
A night lasts an eternity
Swimming in regret and soaked

They say you can't fall anymore than Rock Bottom
But I've painfully crashed a thousand times, and
melted into the Earth's Core; filling the cracks
With liquefied remains of what I became...a failure.

My broken pieces caught in alluring lies
and tangled Bed Sheets

Rock Bottom is every bed
A boy has invited me in
Because I could not accept
God's knock on my chest.

Rock Bottom is every cigarette
I've shakenly put between my lips
Because I could not let
God's words fill me.

Rock Bottom is each step away
from my Body
Because my soul-my remains
Are left alone above someone's covers.

My soul is locked away in a room
I can never return to.
It's been captured in his bed.
So I fill myself with broken glass
hoping the reflection of what once was
shines through.

I drown myself in self-deprecation
Praying that a form of baptism
Will return my soul to me...

But it wont.
Not until I open my chest,
Not until I fill my lungs
with scripture.

My soul was captured
Because God told me
Who the Devil was...
Charismatic, body like a snake, and
Eyes filled with love...maybe lust?

But the thought of happiness captivated me
And comfort was found in his arms...
I ignored God- calling him a fool.

Now, I must heal and find my soul
Because I didn't listen the first time.

I open my chest
My lips spill with alcohol soaked apologizes
And He still holds me,
Cares for me,
He has not Forsaken me...
like I had Forsaken myself.