My heads in my hands, my hearts on the floor                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
    You don't understand, I can't take it no more                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
I can't keep giving to have you take it away                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
Are you listening? I am not going to stay                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                           
  I cannot trust you, you are so mendacious,                                                      ­        
                                                        ­                                                                 ­ 
I can't forgive your behavior, it's outrageous,    
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
You say that you love me then hurt me so
bad,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                    
can you say honestly, you want what you have?                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                      
You make me forget what I ever loved in you,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­   
You make me regret everything I've done for you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Why can't you just think and act before you do                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                   
  Your decisions stink, not everything's about you                                            
                                                                ­                                    
  Narcissistic and shallow, you only love yourself,                                                        ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
  So empty and hollow, you can go **** yourself,                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                    
  as much as I love you, I hate you as well,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                              
There's nothing more to say or do except, Go to hell.

oh, i don’t know
and i can’t describe it
we sit in this mess
once again
it feels like war tonight.

why are you acting this way ?
i see and feel your frozen eyes
i feel like we’ve gone crazy
we spit out sharp words to each other
things that can’t just be “forgotten.”

cover your eyes
you’re so selfish
acting as if you’ve never been loved
knowing we both regret it
knowing i would regret it.

this is the same every time.
oh, it’s like a waltz,
turning again and again
if we aren’t moving forward,
then we’re staying still.

my head is pounding, just stay quiet
don’t say a word
simply surrender.
what are you angry for,
the irony ?

i’m going crazy
we’re out of sync.
what do i do ?
this terrible love puts us together
and tears us apart

unable to escape from this endless cycle,
i linger by your side
acting as i’ve never loved
it’s cold, and i regret it
we know.

the same things, it’s like a waltz
turn and twirl in place
the never ending war-like love song
we just spend the night dancing,
forced into acting like we’ve ever loved

the next step is meaningless like the last.
we have nothing to be excited about
blindly repeat your apologies
and it’s like i said, it’s like a waltz
we turn again and again, never moving forwards.

My eyes droop and tire
I stare in your direction
Longing for you to move
And come back to me

The trees burn and wilt
My hair grows into mats
I cant seem to let go.

My feet stay in place
Soft trinkles of water
Crashes of droplets hit
The uneasy tub

Days pass
I find myself waiting,
Again.

Large knots
In my scalp
Leave me crying
As I can't brush them out.

I'm worn and stained
I'm bruised and rotten
You throw me out
And the fly of your memory buzzes in my ear.

wasnt any reason for me to lie.
the scars and bruises where they lie
why on earth do you doubt
why do you push and shove and shout

selfishly sick is what i be
the trauma fake? oh honestly!
i let it happen
i hurt myself
i do it all
and don't ask for help

i am failing critically
i am sick, selfishly.

i let you laugh
i let you lie
i kiss my "normal" life goodbye.
i let my thoughts
dissipate
let the next person take my place

if i lied for over a year
wouldnt that make the truth everclear?
foggy memories swirling endlessly

we are sick, selfishly

-yjp

The praise of death was a selfish desire.
You know this.
Yet the prayer comes every morning and night.
But, with no avail does your wish come.
So be it,
and let the desire eat you whole.