wasnt any reason for me to lie.
the scars and bruises where they lie
why on earth do you doubt
why do you push and shove and shout

selfishly sick is what i be
the trauma fake? oh honestly!
i let it happen
i hurt myself
i do it all
and don't ask for help

i am failing critically
i am sick, selfishly.

i let you laugh
i let you lie
i kiss my "normal" life goodbye.
i let my thoughts
dissipate
let the next person take my place

if i lied for over a year
wouldnt that make the truth everclear?
foggy memories swirling endlessly

we are sick, selfishly

-yjp

The praise of death was a selfish desire.
You know this.
Yet the prayer comes every morning and night.
But, with no avail does your wish come.
So be it,
and let the desire eat you whole.

People call people who try to end there lives, selfish.
"You should never do that. Think about how many people
who would be affected."

Think about this though.
Kids don't off themselves so they can put others in pain.
They do it because others have put THEM through so much pain.

Don't call me selfish, because I am hurting. I would give someone my heart, I would jump in front of a moving car if you needed saving, If you need a hand, I'll be there.

So no, I'm not selfish. I am tired of picking up other people's messes and then being treated like nothing in the end.

I bought a rabbit from a feed store
He was raised for meat
But I brought him home
And raised him for me
Not to eat but to keep

Part of me thinks that's just as cruel
Poor unwanted, little thing
Just happy to live in my house
He doesn't have the ability to see
How unnatural our friendship is

I didn't save him
But I didn't eat him
So he just exists without purpose
Kind of like me
I think I was also raised for meat

I'm getting hickies from vibrations in my throat.
There's smoke in the air,
I can't help but choke
On my word as they spew from me like they know
That I've said too much.
I've said to much.

All these kisses stick to me like a hug.
Am I apparent to them them
When they taunt me with their tug
On my shirt as they cover me like they know
That I've said too much?
I've said too much.

My body's shaking from the fear, I aim a weapon.
I cant look at what I'm shooting
But I caught her perception
She stares me down cruelly still like she well knows
That I've said to much.
I've said to much.

I feel the tears when I can't see her through a camera.
They blur my vision, flood my ears,
Fill my lungs, I feel my stamina
Be drained from my core like it knows
That I've said too much
I've said too much

I'm feeling selfish so I start cutting with steak knife .
Though with my throat slit
My tongue still moves with the still life.
It tells my secrets on and on and it knows
That I'll say too much.
I'll say too much.
I'll say too much.