I'm seeing spots
when I stand
up too quickly
time passes by
slowly when I
watch the clock
tick in circles
hands search for
each other and
for one minute
they will meet
and provide comfort

I fell into her shadows dancing towards the light.
Lost among The castaways searching for a life.
Myself  I could not see looking in the mirror.
Inside a dark dark room filling up with fear.
My eyes are all I see peering through the door.
Mind is all but gone sinking through the floor

some days
I don’t want to talk.

come here and kiss me.

my words won’t leave my mouth,
but you’ll know exactly
what I’ve been trying to say.

Sometimes wish I was normal but what does that even mean?
Nobody privately is as normal as they seem
Some of us hide behind a false veil of protection
Others wear mistakes as armor for protection
I own what I have done so no one can give me ****
Impossible to understand if they haven't lived through it
Everyone struggles
We all feel pain
I never judge those whose choices aren't the same
I hope I grow to find happiness once more
Along with freedom I harbored before
How long until efforts prevail?
Progressing at a pace slower than a snail
I hate myself because I am weak
Expectations way too high to meet
Falling centimeters short of each goal
Cannot fall asleep but can fall into these holes
Every time I strive it's in vain
Can hear the taunts of success i can't attain
I love seeing people smile
Laugh
Maybe some joy will rub off as they pass

Please don’t take me to be anything other than that which I am
irrespective of what appears to your eyes I am that which I am.
If there’s any reason whereby you believe what your eyes may see
then it could be that with your mind instead of your heart you see.
_________