If I see it
then it is

If I hear it
then it is

If I taste it
then it is

If I read it
then it's
a different
story

I look in the mirror at a person I don’t recognize anymore. Prodding and pulling at my skin just to make sure this is who I am I only cake on so much makeup because this is the me I don’t want them to see.

So they don’t

They don’t see me and time is just running away and what if I can’t make them see me before time is up?

It’s not that I’m invisible, I know they can hear me and they tell me that really, I’m fine, and I’ve never been an issue but then why do I feel so out of place in my own day to day routines?

In fact nothing is routine anymore I have no constants. Eating, sleeping, it’s all ireggular and sometimes I can’t remember doing any of it at all.

I have pictures filling my camera roll of happiness in a moment that I can’t bring back, why do I keep them for happy if all they do is make me sad?

The clock is ticking and I can hear it but they can hear me so I can’t scream, they don’t see me but I’m tearing at my mouth trying to get out the words that I really want them to hear.

And they tell me, that it’s okay to be yourself.

But only around certain people. Because society wants you to have curves but never in the wrong places. They want you to feel free to speak your mind as long as it’s something that they want to hear. If you keep your secrets to yourself you’re hiding something and if you share them you’re being too open.

But time is passing.

I need time, I need routine, and I need to remember happy so that I don’t fall in love with sad because far too many do.
So I will scream into the wind where they cannot hear me.
And paste on my paper facade.
Someday, they will see me.
Now you don’t.

You don’t light up the world, but you allow me to see.
The truth still hurts,
But everything is now warm and full of life.
All the beauty around me,
I can feel it and touch it,
It wraps me like fog hugs the mountains.
I can’t help but slip into dreams,
Even while it’s right in front of me.
The worlds that you create break my mind into rosy memories to fuel my sentiment and comfort every day.

when you comes
the sun appears
the warm takes place
the cold vanishes
the world becomes at party
evryone gets happy
and my times seem funny
i feel as the time moves
in speed waves and waves
as i forget to remark
what awful does it take?
it takes important thing
that you will talk
meet or see you again

let’s paint an intimate word
take our body of work and
slice it to pieces
little cubes of meat
i’ll make you a home cooked meal
if you eat my vibrations
tonight everything feels medium rare
sorry for the blood
it seeps through - sometimes it just wants
to be seen

Two pigeons
Resting lip of ATM
Nature's kind tellers.

When the night bottoms out
painting in a chiaroscuro.
See the world in the painted glow
before it’s toned down
back into the shadow!

Wisdom is a tree of life.
Grab it with both hands.
Ask God for it every day
Until you understand.
There is always more to see,
And always more to know.
Our joy lies in seeking out
What God has hid to one day show.