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I can't get the voices out of my head,
they hide behind a facade of analeptic lies.
Their incoherent whispers make me wish I was dead,
and their noise seems only to rise.

There is no silence or truth,
never has there been since youth.
They promise a happy salvation,
from my arduous, caustic addiction,
if I were to follow their word.

They speak only lies,
the same in a different guise.

The sound is unbearable.
Their morbid speak of “****”,
but I don't think I'm able
to take my ghastly fill.

Their lies seem so sweet.
Perhaps its not bad.
Not bad to stop a heartbeat.
I’m not really all that mad,
like you tend to repeat.

The only one I can trust,
the one that seems unjust.
The one that speaks utter nonsense,
might be my only defense,
against this rising murdering lust.
It’ll take some time to adjust.

                                Maybe though, it’ll preserve my sanity,
                                      in this world of inhumanity.
I'm perfectly okay :P no need to get worried (if you weren't going to than ignore my ignorant comment).

'One of them has kept my pushing... With out this voice, I wouldn't be here today.'
         ~Mikyle (Kris)
Shel Jun 2015
The worst part about this foggy disease
Is that I can't enjoy life
   Even in it's finest moments
   Even in it's most bright
I am still shrouded in the fog and dark

Sitting on a balcony
A few stories in the clouds
Beach wind in my hair
I don't look down in hopes
That I could stay here forever
In the sun and laughter

I wish only that,
  I were a few stories higher
  I were a few ounces braver
And I could jump down
Let darkness overtake me

I know it's a darkness that passes
A darkness that only feels
Eternal
In the moment that I am

I know that I will read
My somber words tomorrow
And wonder why I felt so low
So sick
So tired

The hardest part of this disease
Is not knowing when  
It will leave
When it will pass
Or if maybe one day..

I'll be stuck.
always anxious Apr 2015
i knew this girl
everyone was happy when she was born.
she had the most beautiful face

i knew this girl
she was three years old no care in the world
scarlet lips, and deep brown eyes
she had just gotten her glasses she was so proud

i knew this girl
she was six years old excited to grow up
pigtails, smarter than the other kids

i knew this girl
9 years old oldest in her grade
she already has acne the other kids pick on her but she could stand it

i knew this girl  
12 years old she thought she was fat
her acne was worse, she was coovered in blemishes.
she didn't want her glasses anymore.
she was an outcast, all the other kids just ignored her

i knew this girl
13 years old wounds all up her arms and legs
she has stopped eating her weight dropping to 100lbs

i knew this girl
14 years old she took off her glasses and put on darker clothes
she blends into the crowd
her arms and legs are covered with scars.
her weight is down to 75 lbs

i know this girl
15 years old.
fighting to recover, having relapses all the time
drinking, ******* around, fasting, then overeating.
her weight is back up to 94 but why should she keep it there?

i might get to know this girl
20 years old living a happy life
scars on her arms, but they're all faded by now.
her hands shake when she eats.
But this is only if she fights to get better.
if not she will never live to see this age.
Justin S Wampler Feb 2015
The bar wrapped around in the shape of a question mark,
as if it knew we didn't know why we were here.

Deco lamps hung above since long before we existed,
cigarette smoke left the stained glass tinted
an unfortunate yellow.

Right-angle mirrors play tricks on my eyes as I see myself,
rightfully hidden behind hard liquor on the shelf.

I can't help but try to remember the light of my smile,
so I try one out on my face for awhile becoming
an uncertain fellow.

The reflection in that tricky mirror seemed to be
showing that we had become only me.
Matthew Jan 2015
Something about you
You fulfill me in ways I seldom remember
Yet sicken me in all the same
Where did you go?
We have always been together
Your reign will remain victorious
Forever over us
They say there's strength in numbers    

But I just want the voices in my head

                                . . .

                     TO GO AWAY
always anxious Sep 2014
A broken mirror
A bleeding fist
A silverblade
Against a wrist
Tears falling down
To lips unkissed
Ignore her
and she wont exist
Shes not the kind
Youll come to miss
just a girl Aug 2014
she's proud og herself but she won't tell you why
it has now been a month since last she even tried
but they voices won't stop today she still won
she put down her razor and put down that gun

after hours of thinking to herself
she goes and picks up her old friend from the shelf
overwhelmed with emotions she picks up her blades
and disposes her devils, drops the charade

for the first time in a while her lips crack to a smile
this wont be easy but in the end it will be worthwhile
her cuts will turn to scars and those scars will fade
and this makes her feel stronger she's no longer afraid

**(c.m.h)
Justin S Wampler Aug 2014
The worst thing that ever happened to me
Wouldn't be when my father left
I'd be lying if I said it was.

The worst thing that ever happened to me
Didn't leave visible scars
Up and down my arms

The worst thing that ever happened to me
Happens to begin with 'L'
And ends with an 'E'

The worst thing that ever happened to me
Is the title of
This ****** poem
just a girl Jul 2014
those voices trembling in her mind
those visions she think is in front of her eyes
all the noise at night wich isnt even there

it's all in her head but darling she will never believe
that it's just her own mind making her go insane
just her own mind scaring the **** out of her

she lie awake at night telling herself that it's not real
but it feels like it's there she could walk over to it
and feel a hand on her shoulder....

it wasn't inside her head...
they just couldn't see it
they should have listened to her
cause now their little darling is dead
she was killed by the demons...


**(c.m.h)
yea... i just wrote down how i feel about my schizophrenia...
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