do you hear it?
listen to my heart
it's breaking
shattering to pieces
and it's beyond repair

The crash leaves few survivors,
Sheet covered corpses
Littering the highway's shoulder,
They survived, but can they face tomorrow.

Tears waterfall down both faces.
Her hand entwined with his,
As the obstetrician lets them know the truth.
They won't ever reconcile this loss.

Her hair was lost in weeks, after her 19th birthday,
Her boyfriend weeks after that.
She would beat the diagnosis.
But would have to wait to heal from the other.

At the window he sits, a boy waiting
This makes it four hours now
Father told him he'd return tonight
As morning comes, the boy still sits, still waits

We all wait, our twisted wrecks of symmetry,
Untwisting, to get us back to normalcy.
We'll never be normal again.
But untwisting our scars, our dents, our pain,
We carry on.
We survive.

Gonna be a rough one
Weather moving in
Time to mend some fences
Before it's too late again

Horses loaded for a week
Got my son with me this time
We haven't really talked in years
I guess, the fault is mine

Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Just me, the dog and my son
Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Before my time here is done
Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Of all I regret, it's the one
Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Before my short time here is done


There's a chill in the air
And it isn't the wind
It's the tension I feel
between me and him

I pushed him away
And now, I need time
To fix what i've done
The fault is all mine

Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Just me, the dog and my son
Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Before my time here is done
Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Of all I regret, it's the one
Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Before my short time here is done

If nothing else happens
At least we'll both know
The fences are mended
Before the first snow

It's time to mend fences
and fences I'll mend
I lost not only my son
but, I lost my best friend

Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Just me, the dog and my son
Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Before my time here is done
Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Of all I regret, it's the one
Time to mend fences while out mending fences
Before my short time here is done

The fragility of the heart is the closest certainty I know
I used to think a broken heart was a hyperbola
give a description of your remission  
the loudest sound of all love unspoken
yet we always hear the sound of love broken
and if  you repair something broken
it is never the same even if the flaws are never seen
the more it breaks the harder it will be to pawn off as being in  perfect condition
if you sew up an incision you will most likely see a scar

IT WAS THEN
She realized it then
When her heart hopped
Into her mouth screaming
Out ludicrous love songs
And her stomach started
To spin around like a cyclone
And she had this overwhelming urge to
***** and run
But he was her home
So she collapsed into his arms
And relished the feeling of just him being
There.

IT WAS THEN
She realized that she had
Fallen hopelessly in love
And she remembered that feeling
Seven months later
When she craved it so bad
That she fell to the floor and
Broke like glass
Bits and pieces of herself
Shattering
Everywhere and she had
Lost herself
Truly that time
Feeling like she was grasping at thin air
Or clouds
Trying to get a grip
To stop the falling
But every firm thing
Slipping through her grasp.

IT WAS THEN
She crashed down on the grasslands
Numb.
Her back ached from landing on the
Earth with such force
And her ears rang.
The broken bits had
Come back together
Forcefully, and it hurt to breathe
Because she was used to some places
Being empty
So it felt awkward now that they were full.
She lay there
For a while,
Looking up the sky
Watching him lead another girl up
Abysmally high
Waltzing on clouds
Her laughter innocent and sweet.

IT WAS THEN
She felt the sharp ache in her head.
She knew now.
All ludic childishness
A faint memory
She was back to normal now
Reality.
She wondered what love was
Blindness or foolishness.
She couldn't decide.
She got up
And walked away
Into the sunrise.

forgive yourself
everyone makes mistakes
it happens
relax
slow down
try again

and although these phrases can come out my mouth
I ache trying to fathom how they can be applied

Strong is the foundation,
but renovations needed
Signs of wear from past involvements
Darkness settles, absence of power
Then an unexpected luminescence
Out of the fog and into the light
Broken, healing, mending
Like an emotional carpenter,
She begins to repair his wounds
New relationship is formed
But scars from the past causes doubt and fear
Stubbornness, insecurity, irrational immaturity
Relationship agreement null and void
Heart dipped in liquid carbon
Shattered across the slab
Alone again, button of
Self destruct almost activated
But a change is brewing
God is present, never alone
Lessons learned, heart at ease
Sharp is the mind, priorities clear
Calm and peaceful, open heart
Confident, self worth known
Fixer upper upped and fixed?
Only time will tell