Like children,
Stamped out the flame.
Everything was thrown away.
Every day
Keeping you from yourself.
Every day
Dusting off your shelf.
Worry,
Physically ill.
Living still?
Bored of waiting,
Worn of debating
With rage
And smiles you gave me,
Drowned--
Tears that made a greater sea.
Like Alice out sipping tea.

                      Anger,
                      Anger,
 ­                     Arrogant sneer.
                      Regret,
                      Regret­,
                      Realized fear.

Have a drink.
It's finally over.
Bleed from myself till I'm sober.
Feels like dying.
Mental illness vying
With the little voices
For the better choices.

We lose.

I broke before the breaking was ever evident
The weight of undertaking such cracks was prevalent
My hands and legs were shaking yet my mouth stayed oddly shut
Because the words, I found, were inconvenient

I broke before the clay of me had any time to dry
An unfinished tapestry that had already gone awry
And I have no one to blame but me, so I do it every day
And I apologize for the choices that will always be

I broke to show a side of me I’d kept under lock and key
To find I’d lost that key and my escape was breaking
And whether I am a fool is a debate that has come and gone
But I will learn one way or another, later or sooner

Let it flow,
For the uprooting of any deeply seated sediment

Let it flow,
For there must be nourishment

Let if flow,
The salty cascade knows its own course

Let it flow,
If you have to rid any remorse

the day i saw your eyes
filled to the brim with heatrbreak
my soul shattered
seeing how my actions could break another so
but as i stood in front of you i watched it change
i watched that shattered heart form into a mess of blind hatred
and i think that didn't make me mourn but made me pity
to see how one could switch from love to hate in a matter of seconds
i pitied how your moment of vulnerability made you hateful
your moment of vulnerability was maybe the most of you i ever saw
because in your eyes i saw everything
and to see that seeing me you angered you so
my presence was enough to send you over the edge
that's what made me pity you most
i once held remorse for shattering your heart but then i couldn't

oh how strange it is the way we learn that heartbreak and hatred are in love
the strange dance they play on one's emotions and actions
the vulnerability and fury in a tangle
and how we can only see this moment through the heartbroken's eyes

I know we've never been "together."
I know you said to move on.
I tried to be fine with wading this weather,
But the love in my heart still tells me it's wrong.

Now, I'm not saying I'm resentful,
But you did treat me like I was special.
Lately has been so uneventful.
And I'm starting to think this isn't a game...

I get a little jealous when you look at other girls.
I know we're not together, but... You are my whole world.
I get a little jealous when you talk about them too.
It's because we're not together, but...
You told me that you liked me... You told me that you do.

Now, I'm not trying to be weird, but call me, I'd give you my time.
Actually, I'd give you everything, cuz I just want you to be mine.
When I got too lonely, I'd just stare at your photos--
Soundless replacements for you, who knows.

You said I'm obsessive—come on now, don't play.
You like it when I'm open, you preferred me this way.
You said we'd be great together, don't think I forgot.
I cherish every sweet thing you said, so my heart doesn't rot.

Now I've deleted all of your things, cuz I can't bear to see your face.
My prized possessions... I should've given you space.
Why wouldn't you make me yours, like you wanted to?
Now we're apart, now we'll both just be blue.
And now I regret this—now I really do.
True, I'm a little weird, but we're both crazy.
I know what you're afraid of; I know it isn't me.

Those shadowy emissaries
That pass the mind’s great lidless eye
In slow procession through the night
Do fill with color and with sound
The sleeping brain’s vast sweeping bound,
And populate its cityscapes
And alleys with amorphous shapes
That shifting form and countenance
Convey the tides of fleeting thought;
And oft become dark shapes of dread,
Parades of faceless horrors, such
That when I glance their looks are changed –
Each lineament is rearranged –
All meaning or remembrance lost,
Or masked by sweet forgetfulness.
The secret that there lurks within
The labyrinths of memory,
Still tainted by the stench of guilt -
And strengthened by the voice of fear -
Still screams from some dark hidden cell
The lurid blasphemies of hell,
And births itself anew each night,
Each morning dying with the light,
Yet nightly grows in hateful strength,
Corrodes the sturdy locks of will,
And claws through those great iron doors
That lead to waking consciousness.

i don’t like how fast time flies.
one moment you have somebody
and the next you find yourself
reminiscing over moments that
went by so quickly they appeared
to not even be there at all.

was it like that with me for you?
was i just a fragment of a second
in your entire lifetime?
was i somebody that was out of focus
in an already blurry world?
remember the image of me,
even if that image is one
you cannot remember.
even if it is one you try to distort
at night, and clear your head of.

and now look at where we are.
once intertwined,
we stand separately and
watch the years go by.
it seemed like yesterday that i
was in your arms, and you
had still loved me the way
you say you never did, now.
our wounds are not masked by the time.
no matter how much we try to
hide and heal them,
we both are aware of the chaos we have
caused each other.
and we both do nothing about it.
all we do is let the countless minutes
take over us as we wish things didn’t
turn out the way it did.

i don’t like how fast time flies.
because i have lost memories with you
to the tide of seconds in between us.
i drown in remorse as you create new ones.
and i can only question;
does the time tick away anxiously for you too?