I used to think about you
almost every day,
there wasn't one thing that
didn't remind me of you,
but now there's nothing that
longs to the though of us,
of your name.

It's not that I've forgotten you, but I no longer
hang by you, or your memories with me;
maybe because I've found someone
to replace you;
to forget there
was ever a thought
of you.

Can you try to keep these daily reminders
I know it's hard but I know you can do it
You are beautiful even if you don't realize it
You are alive for a reason
No matter what they say to you
You are valid and loved
What you have to say matters
Don't let anyone take your happiness away
Don't stress yourself over the little things
You are only human don't overwork yourself
Always remember to take care of yourself
Drink lots of water & eat properly
Sleep as much as possible
Stay strong no matter what
Don't be ashamed to cry
Take time for yourself
Don't let anyone push you around
Try to stay calm no matter what
You don't have to bottle everything up
Other people are there for you
<3

I know i was born for something greater
than just wait and watch life pass me by.
I have a purpose i feel deep within my core;
A need to fulfill every time my heart screams
"don't settle, not yet".
I believe i can be all i want to be,
All i need to do is hear my calling
in this suppressed world of illusions.
I don't know how far i can go
but i won't stop trying.

a million reminders
that I can't run away from this time
not this time
stuck in the rewind
I replay the day it all changed
Can't I just forget?
Until then --- in the ashes I remain

Lonely night, wind whistling and wolves howling, down south of the earth.

Glorious day, blue hue sky and butterflies dancing, upper north of the hemisphere.

A different colours of perspective, be it west or east, so move along love.

My brain has become my worst enemy, it tells me I’m worthless, and I know it’s true.
It tells me all I do is make people’s lives harder, and it’s right.
It tells me that I’m the **** of the earth and I know it’s true.
it tells me that the world would have been better without me, and it’s right.
It tells me that everything I do, I do wrong, and it’s right.
It tells me that other people don’t care, and they don’t.
It tells me not to get them involved, but I try anyway. And when it fails I’m not surprised.
It tells me what if, what if I was never born, what if I just vanished, what if, I was better.
To answer those questions, the world would be better, no one would care, and I need to be.
But my best isn’t enough. And I’m told I will never be enough, and I know it’s true.
it’s not me, except it is entirely me, it tells me I’m a failure and I know it’s true.
What if, what if, what if I could do something right, no, anything right,
then maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be true.
Because it tells me I’m worthless and I know it’s true.

Way too often I find the child within this overgrown shell. He hides in the crack in the slab.

                      Longingly he stares back at me with those deep blue eyes and smiles at me  -  as if he knows who I am inside.

                                     Who I really am.
                                             Who we really are.


                                                       I

                   l
                      e
                          t

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                                                                                     h
                                                                                e

                                   r
                                        a
                               i
                                    n

                                                                                 s
                                                                                     o
                                                                                         a
                                                                                   k
                                          

             m
                    y

                                                      c
                                                   l
                                                      o
                                                          t
                                                       h
                                                    e
                                                       s


              It burns in my eyes.

He just stands there, looking at me. Then he reaches out his hand toward me.

                                         I awake alone.

- Shepherd, 1-12-20

Absence is a strange occurrence,
a shapeshifter manifesting
in the most trivial things.
A presence where there is none.
Something never entirely gone.