it had slipped
from my grasp
that warm toned memory
                        a   l o o s e   t h r e a d
                    t h a t    s n a p p e d
yet left its indentations on my mind
its fingerprints behind my eyes
i can still remember how bright the sun was that day
and the tilt of someone's lips towards the sky
someone i can't seem to recall
someone that doesn't ring a bell
but whose laugh still floats around in the air
i can't seem to
               remember.

I remember the lights going off in the brains of young poets.
Deep in the dank streets of New York or Columbia college.

When the blues and twos would come and round up
The beatniks snapping to the howl of a homosexual mind.

When the generational attitudes of those too old to know,
Control the ****** acts of “violence”, or
The deepening scars of our philosophies.

When the urbanization of historical prowess leads to
Gentrified gypsies of the diamond deserts and endless skyways

When the great in the country isn’t good enough
For the red hats and spray tanned millionaires.

When the stocks of corporate dragons burn down
The attempts of upstart knights and online kingdoms.

When the politicians of old become the scapegoats
For the ironically gerontocratic few.

When the female few who dared couldn’t find their lost primaries
Or control the lifeblood leaking out of the Strait of Hormuz.  

When the powerful and powerless fought in-between
The dejected and all too often ignored.

When the powered halogen lights flooded prison yards of
Wrongly convicted and murderously in need of help.

When the San Francisco clubs lit up with muzzle flash
And the dancers lay weeping in their blood.

When the schools became places to duck and cover
Or learn to trip a friend when running from a gun.

When parkland high became a manufacturing ground
For casings, tears, and candlelight vigils.

When the American dream came combo packaged
And supersized with obesity and unemployment.

When the education of the youth became about
The profit margin in a spreadsheet full of debt.

When the sun sets in the smoke filled horizons
And sleepless rest settles on the western front.

Lots of midnights forgotten
***** breath inhaled
Bodies kissed by setting sun
Hanging hesitation veiled

Pulling me in
Just a smile
Nibbling supple lobes of ears
Bled stars instead of red and white cells
Cried gems instead of tears

Fattened with feasts of love
Filled with ****** tension
Lips needed the sweetness of sparks
Caused by your kiss and attention

Pulled me in
Never let go
Was alive
Was young
Was free
Our story has pushed so much further since then
I will always remember how things used to be

A memory is just a story altered.
Every recall differs from the one before it.
The details will fade, though the essence remains.

An orator of the mind spins the tales,
Our experiences catalogue them.

The bitter ones grow even more bitter.
The happy ones grow even happier.

But this mind of mine refused my request.
Figuring some memories are best,
left behind.

And so in my unremembering,
I ponder the splendid and mundane,
that has all been locked away.

I do not remember the first moment we met
Or the moment after
I do not remember the first time we locked eyes
Or smiled at each other
I donot remember when we started walking together or
Having lunch together
I do not remember the first time you called me unannounced
Or the time we started sitting next to each other
I do not remember the firsts
But I remember all the in between
Memories of your smiling face
Warm hands
Small eyes
Each any every moment in between
Each feeling
Of utter and unconditional happiness
I remember you
And hope
Maybe you do to

I need to remember me.

I need to remember myself
and all the good sweet memories that help me pick myself up
and all the bitter-sweat experiences that help me build myself
that help me find myself when often time I am lost.

I need to remember me
and remember to live.