after all
disappointment and a cold day
a bowl of soup

I want long hair again;
Fingers kissing my skin as they thread through waves.
I want long hair again;
Pretend I'm a mermaid under the showerhead.
I want long hair again;
Twist and tie, in different styles, a new me every day.
I want long hair again;
Use them as curtains, a shelter from thieving eyes.

I want long hair again;
But here I stand, once again,
At my scissors' mercy.
Chasing that sweet relief—
From the weight around my neck.
They say hair holds memories—
I need my mind empty.

Feels like fear.

Depression
Is my peace.

Laughter
Helps me see.

Isolation
Is my relief.

All I want is a bridge to the clouds
so I could climb up, high and away,
to loose myself from gravity’s bounds
and float above humanity’s frays.

Let my mind be a kite to catch the wind
and pull me up to the light above,
freed from the weight that kept me pinned
instead of gliding like a carefree dove.

The blade glides
Emerging red high tides
From mad to sane
****** anguish overpowers mental pain

One Friday evening working from home I was tired
I hadn't been sleeping too well of late
So I said I'm going to finish up now and go to bed for a few hours, get some rest
So, I get a few hours sleep and then I awake at about half eleven/ twelve a clock, around midnight
I get myself something to eat, then I start watching some movie
When the movie's over I say I better go off to bed again, maybe read for awhile
It's well after two  
So I unplug all the plugs, brush my teeth, turn off all the lights
Then I remember there's a small window, a high up window out front that needs to be closed, I always leave it open to air the room
So I go out to the front porch to close the window
Now there's a hotel across the road from me, it holds dances and weddings and other functions on Fridays and Saturdays
Sometimes late at night you can hear voices and laughter on the road
So when I go out to my porch to close the window I suddenly stop dead in my tracks
There's a shadowy figure walking around at the front of my house
A prowler
I can see him walking up to my garage door to see if it's open
Luckily I have it tied...it's closed
Then he walks over to the other side of the house, there's a side door there
He tries the side door but it too is locked, so he can't get around the back of the house
So he starts going back and forth across the front of the house, it's almost like as if he's trying to think of another way of breaking in
And I'm just...I'm just standing there watching him, in the dark, betwixt the shadows and the moonlight
Just a face in the dark...like a disembodied face staring back at him, watching him
Y'know there's nothing more creepy than watching someone trying to find a way to break into your own house
Now I'm a bit concerned 'cos my car is parked at the front of the house
I'd left it out 'cos I needed to go somewhere the next day
I'm afraid he might start interfering with my car
In which case I know I'll have to intervene, I'll have to confront him
Tell him to '**** off'
Suddenly as he's going back and forth, suddenly just then he stops and I'll never forget it
His head it just turns real real slow like, almost unnatural
And he looks in the window... looks in directly at me, it's like he's seen me for the first time
And it's like he can hardly believe it
He moves a step forward just to make sure
Then it's like...it's like he realises he's been caught
Whereas he thought he was looking into some dark dead looking house
Suddenly now there's...there's this face looking right back at him...watching him
As if its reading his thoughts...as if...as if it already knows his thoughts.

And I'm half afraid, 'cos it's like I've been discovered too

Thankfully...thankfully he takes off.