With nothing to do,
With nowhere to roam around,
With being forced to confine yourselves,
Just digging into the past,
Digging up old memories
That's what the pandemic is
Allowing us to do...
The COVID is forcefully changing us, asking us to put breaks and reflect. Some things bad, but somethings definitely good.
sometimes it feels lonely,
and sometimes i feel drowsy.
but maybe this is the time
i have to treasure every prime
i have not seen
when everywhere is all i've been.
there are things i want to try,
but my energy cannot defy.
but this time i ought to find serenity
amidst all the ambiguity
and try to reflect
on what i have to reconnect.
the way i currently feel
and what i have realized.
daily poems! ♡
I’m the unfinished poem
And you’re the deadline closing in way too soon.
This is not shaping up to be anyone’s best work.
You’re the chair with a faulty seat
And I’m the *** falling through.
Is it my fault for not checking first?
I’m the ambulance sirens wailing outside on your street,
But you’re the silence I need to concentrate.
How are you going to work with this?
You’re the hands typing away
And I’m the keyboard with a missing key.
Or maybe you’re missing a finger?
What about the deadline?
How is this going to work if you’re missing a finger?
Is this what’s making me the ***?
I might be the biggest obstacle you have,
And baby you’re not one for track and field.
Bring your best revision to the table,
I don’t think you’re saving this piece.
Whether this is a creative block or not,
You’re dealing with a failure to write.
Totality escapes beneath me, all that I’ve left unexplored collapses unto me.
Triggered, by self centered inundation, I might as well be gone.
For what do I provide the collective? But neglect and self indulgent plunder.
Relive this aeonic cage, cyclic and persistent. Yet each existence we reach a new peak.
So benevolent, and elegant. I need to relive samsara to fill my void.
Be meaningful to others. Because I do not matter, what I do matters.
Momentarily, this escapes me, shameful and foolish, I must regain such tonic insight.
It combats my abysmal fear of inconsequentiality.
I’ve reflected in infantilism, however I think I’ve found what guides us to actualization.
At least myself anyway, I need to mean something to others.
I need to teach and learn from my peers, whom I overlook as of now.
How myopic and repugnant. White from shame I apologize to those who’d listen.
I open my arms to all. Let me help, show me how to help.
Walking along the waterside
Fingers sliding over long grass
I slump and sit in the grass
The sun just having set
You were once familiar
I gaze into the waters
My fingers tracing the ripples
Wandering along the direction
Wondering, why my fingers
Never seem to grasp
And fall into flow with
The waters that reflect the
Light I always like to see
Left me there,
To deal with this fear
Never saw this day coming
I'm too blind to accept
You're not here anymore;
I drove you
Away from my heart.
Not intentional but I did
Hurt you, yes
Regret, I do
Now it's just me.
I'm alone out here,
I miss you
I miss us
This feeling; just not right
It's like we don't exist anymore
It's just you
It's just me
You do you,
I do me
Not cute but life
This hole left here,
You pierce and pierced
Am I alive?
I guess I am
Without amygdala I must
Here, my heart
Just take it
I damaged yours
And that's just it
You deserve it
Now you're probably gone
Inspired by my father figure after I nearly lost him.
Nary an original thought possesses me,
maybe I should become mute?
But then how would I boast about my obnoxious self perceived importance?
in moments of bliss
you shine inadvertently
unsure of why I worry of you
in fragments of abyss
you relieve deliberately
sure of why I wish for you;
I certainly cannot miss
February 11, 2020
Of your beautiful heart
Over my lonely shoulders,
Your very memory,
Reminding me you’re not here.
Oh, how empty, without you.
Waking up, and I feel
Reality wakes up too
And humbles me.
How much you shaped me,
How much I see you,
How much I love you,
How much I need you.
My world is my house
But your love feels like home.
So, yet one more year is added to the pile.
Heavy laboured breath before going this next years mile.
Years put in my past that attest to battles I have fought.
Eyes that hold a sadness to reflect my deepest thought.
Years that blur as one I do endlessly compile.
With no pause or break to rest but just a while.
Never really finding what it was I sought.
Aged and withered visage from the lessons life has taught.
Untold years ahead lay hidden as I struggle upon this trial.
Trudging further on in a beaten, battered and weary style.
Days ahead giving rise to new reason to feelings so distraught.
Yet one more year, in the uselessness I find that I am caught.
Long forgotten days that once gave cause to smile.
Leaving ahead but sadness and mistakes to reconcile.
Shorter the road ahead than the one that lies behind.