Swollen knee,
          Come the night I fell;
          Rail iron and blood wrought whiskey.

Swollen knee,
          When the light met me ‘fore the tunnel;
          Far from warm, but a frigid tucked.

Swollen knee,
          As the paper bag whispered the other’s wails;
          I’d imagine my mother crying come dawn.

And the once sullen autumn leaves,

Like my once swollen broken knee,
          Rush ahead for my wishes of spring,
          Bloodied, my palm, and in wait for something new.

I can't tell you why
All those things seemed to matter
Until there was you

Did you drop into existence,
light as a feather,
or did you make the world implode
with your erupting presence?
300 million years ago,
animal but human,
human and needy,
riding on backs of giants
to travel to farwaway places,
and then soaring...

Extracting anger and desperation,
tying yourself tight to an image of hope,
to an image of transformation,
so we humans can only desire
to be worthy of your donation...

Nothing flusters you,
and even though your wings
are both blue,
there is nothing sad about you.

You tuck away the empty chasms
of a soul made to feel too old,
made to feel that it should not
aspire to be the sun,
but merely its shadow...
and you paint their
switched off, tired eyes
with ineffable hues of strength.

Dragonfly, you show me
that through your years,
you've cried and you
fought your battles and
some old parts of you died...
and you showed me that
rebirth and imperfection
aren't missing but whole,
that mess isn't haunted
or unwanted but needed
for exploration...

If every particle of ours,  every chemical
that went into a single thought
could be stored away in its designed,
picturesque room,
how could we claim to be mysteries?

Dragonfly, now it's my turn
to give away my pieces of decay,
let them burn.
You are expectedly lingering at my window,
you've always been,
and I'll no longer keep you waiting.

In the lightly lit path in shown by the moon
I sauntered forward to face my doom.
I walked through the pond
Shallow water swirled against my ankles.
The water that lay below splashed
With every step I took.
Every drop was something I left behind,
Something to say goodbye,
Every tear I bared.
The familiar path I once knew,
Was now the mystery of the new beginning.

It isn't too late
It's never too late to start
All over again

Out of the ashes of rock bottom
Behold a Mighty bird that was long since forgotten
Rose from the earth from the element of fire
And lifted him self throughout the mire
What once was though of as dead
Has surely risen
All it took was a ball of desire
To ignite the fire within to lift him higher
The power of the Phoenix resides from within us all
So hold your head high and keep walking tall

waking up
and not feeling the pain
you felt before
for so many mornings prior
to this very moment
was all you needed to know
that you are okay
you can breathe again
these worries did not break you
they put you to sleep
and woke you up
so that you could see the beauty
in trying again

The anchiant tree bid farewell to its entity
It's chartreuse leaves fell swiftly to the ground
Its roots still holding the corpse earthbound
The exhausted landmark left our reality
And forgot it's dying identity
It did not leave any fruit to be found
It seemed almost no life was life around
The old tree left into eternity
Though there did seem to be something left
The tree, like a pheonix, left a new soul
The young life would make many hearts whole
It would grow to be crowned as the new king
And give the people a new place to sing
And it's years of wisdom would show in rings.

I walk around this house
with its half rebuilt body
and battered soul,
calling it my home.

Can't quite tell
what it's hiding,
If you don't look carefully.

but if you do
you might feel
resilience and fortitude
coursing through its bones,
entering through its broken
magic door.

12 long years now
since that act of
divine madness,
staged within these walls,
changed
Everything.


- ~

You took your beautiful life,
on an otherwise ordinary
Saturday eve
while the summer sun
hung high
above the moody waters of the lake
and rays of light,
I imagine,
flickered through
the basement window

I was on the phone
with you..
not knowing
till later,
the immensity of what was created
in that moment.

the one that blew me apart forever,
the one that hurls me toward infinite still,
like a dying star seeking a galaxy.

You stayed with me
in silence
until death gently choked you,
then kissed your hands.

You stayed with me
until in lifelessness you dropped the phone,
privileging me with your last moment
honouring me with your last breath.

He always kept candles, loved
to watch their silent vigil stand
bright against shadow.
He lit them, letting himself
get lost in
their seductive mirage--
only long enough to
snap out of a haze
and extinguish the light between
his fingers.
In a way,
he lived for their death,
the curling of pungent smoke, mingling
with stale bedroom air.

But he also thrived on their rebirth--
the glowing ember, *******
breath from the smoke and
regenerating from ashes.