Darling I've come a long way
I hope you'd be proud of me
If I had the courage to tell you
About the things I used to do passionately.

I used to taste the metal against my skin
Deep and slow just like breathing
I used to watch as the blood flowed
Leave myself inches from dying

It was my faithful addiction
For 4 awful years
Everything bottled up beneath the surface
Only at night could you see my tears

But I'm so much better now
Yes I still have troubled times
But no longer do I resort
To my self inflicted midnight crimes.

I've cast off the metal
For the softness of your skin
Clean for almost a year now
I've chosen another sin

Something more painful than razors
But God isn't it pleasant too
You see my love
My newfound sin is you

Grown my beard long enough,
time, now, to
announce to the world,
the demands of the new Caliph:

First a rider on raiment -
of black be your fashion.

Then, in the name of the Lord
the most merciful,

We demand razors!
Yeah we need more of them -
for shaving our underarms
and other sacred duties outlined below.

We demand brides!
We can knock at your censured
doors at night:
for faithful brides and
infidel ****** for pleasure.

In the name of the Lord, most merciful,
Madam, may I ask,
is your modesty circumcised?

In the name of the Lord, most merciful,
Can we have more watches please?

But mannequins, they must be covered.
And when we huddle the infidels
in trenches or behead your sons
please, we do so in but peace!

Razors race along the paper
Erasing mistakes as they go
Dark nights that only got later
I stayed to see if it'd show
I carve deep enough to find the pain
And paint it plainly against the grain
A museum with windows long and drained of a strange familiar glow
Time is tame compared to space
As the length of these margins grow
I rip apart all the mistakes of my life
Inked on my heart and soul

in little shattered
bits of future
with cards and ash and radium
all spread around my brain
I wrap my fingers around your bone
to tug it away
from my heart
which you have been clinging to
for far too long
and I cast off
the phosphorous light
that have ignited my lungs
and filled my fists
with a rage
rivaled only
by the dragons
in stories my mother would read to me
until I fell asleep
clinging to a razorblade.

I can feel the anger pulsate through my blood stream
It travels full circuit in less than a second
I can feel the pounding of it cause a headache that screams and bellows through my skull
When I look down at my wrist I can see the blackness traveling through my veins
It creates black shadowed trees, wishing that I would set it free from the poison
It taunts me and begs for the kisses of razor sharp blades
My own veins would rather be cut open than feel the poison traveling within it
As for my mind, there is no escaping that.
No razor blades to kiss it better
And no medication strong enough to will the screaming echoes away

i haven't let
a blade
dance upon my wrist
in months

but now it aches
and it feels like
i'm coming home

sleeping with self destruction

And when you smile I see the heaven
When you smile I see the stars
And even in the darkest hours
The light of the moon comes out
When you smile my tears are drying
I am happy with my self
I put the sad words behind
I put the rasors back in the shelf
And when you smile I feel
Like I'm the only one in the world
And i dont feel alone
I feel like thats my home.
And i dont want to miss you
I dont want you to be gone
I want you next to me
I want to be in the heart of a loved one.

Freedom is being able to use my razor.
Freedom is being able to use my razor.

To glide it without caution against my skin; with no interruptions from noisy roommates.
To glide it without caution against my skin; with no interruptions from noisy roommates.

In the warmth of these curtains I am safe.
In the warmth of these curtains I am safe.

I let the warmth soak me in the droplets caressing my skin, washing away the dirt.
I let the warmth soak me in the droplets caressing my skin, washing away the dirt.

I lather myself in the memories of the day as I unwind, the tension fades.
I lather myself in the memories of the day as I unwind, the tension fades.

A smile comes to my lips as I step out of my night time ritual; Showering.
I smile comes to my lips as I step out of my night time ritual; Cutting.

**Freedom is being able to use my razor.