Full disclosure,
My deepest fear is
Losing you.
Seemingly petty, but
The memories you’d
Leave me would be
A phantom limb,
Forever haunting me.

Kaleidoscope eyes,
They see the world in
Color, but they
Don’t see me.
Grey backsplash in
A city of rainbow;
The windows
Betray me.

A white witch
Stares at me in
The mirror, vile
And feeling loveless.
These lying eyes
Find bad intention
Everywhere I
Go.

This tricky brain
Plants seeds of
Doubt and jealousy,
Oh how they grow.
Hazel eyes green
With envy make
A generous
Green thumb.

For the record,
Playing victim got
Easier as my heart
Allowed itself to feel
All I’ve repressed.
It’s more convenient
To do the hurting
When I’m hurting, too.

Though I swear I
Never meant to enjoy
It so much,
Nor did I want to use it
On you. I
Am shameful of this
Power, and you are
Undeserving of the wrath.

Metamorphosis,
I will mold myself
Into a new being;
Eyes green with nurture
And lacking envy.
Full disclosure, I
Have you to thank for this;
Your arms, the catharsis.

A dark emptiness hesitates;
Autumn sparks a flame into the sky.
The creeping winter brings me
Chills, and the ravens of the snow
Appear far too early.

Keep Father Cold away for just a little longer.
These brittle bones can’t handle bitter cold
Until these wounds are cauterized and
I feel the warmth in my blood again.
Give me time to hibernate.

Sometimes,
I don't need your advices.
I don't need you to tell me
sunshine and rainbows.
I don't always need you
to tell me the positive side
and what's better.

Sometimes I just want you understand
my pain as it is - raw and painful.
I just need you to acknowledge my pain
for what it is
and let me feel it.

Because sometimes,
all I need is
an understanding heart
patient ear
and support to hold onto.

They aren't just poems,
but my vulnerabilities stripped
onto a page.
These words are the rhythmic song
of my heart,
the lyrics of my mind
These bare words
having an insight
beyond the skin.
To something more vulnerable and deep;
An entry to my mind

"Having gone through it once did not mean it did not hurt the second time. It is painful, raw and heart-wrenching. But I know I am going to get through it. I know I have to invest in myself, the people who I love and love me back and invest in the things that make me feel better so that my past would not hold me captive. I know if I was to work for the better, I would be much happier with my present and would not go back to rekindle with my past as I would have accepted the suffering is part of the path of finding my strength and a better self."

- excerpt from an open letter

“If you want to talk about it, I am here for you. Just like old times or new times, I don’t know. But I am here for you.” Cancerous words he spilled onto the screen, for they just multiplied the happiness that now sparked within her. Brewing hope and burning her eyes with emotions that flowed her eyes, leaving her mind fuzzy with joy. They finally opened their hearts to one another; a raw, vulnerable, authentic conversation after years. It was a conversation where she was drowned in the most beautiful-devastating of ways. A conversation she never wanted to end for the words seemed infinite and emotions seemed everlasting. She held onto this moment as perfect as it was as her eyes slid go sleep.

Like the sun my mind sets,
like the moon my heart comes in power
;
the emotion filled tides
rising and crashing.
Like a waterfall my emotions flow,
like a volcano words escape.

Suppressed emotions unveiled

letting words with no logic escape
for the words are true,

the emotions are pure

allowing the ones around me
to hear my secrets as they divulge
,
catch a glimpse of vulnerability , raw and honesty

that are veiled by the morning light.

-a poets best and worst moment.