The Mystery of the ‘e’.


What can be caught but never tamed?
What can be attained, but never detained?
What will never cease?
If you could only see; would you still require me?


If you had been shown, what wasn’t normally known,
Would you have believed what you had read?
If you know the answer, you would not have asked the question;
Still you ask with a fear of regret.


What have you found to solve the mystery of the ‘e’?
Have you gained from this experience?  Do you see what I see?
Let it lighten up your heart, with the joy of discovery.
Find your inner child, your inner being, or your split personality.


This is the way, walk into the light.
The police would like you to give them a statement.
Do you know the answer to the mystery of the ‘e’?
Of course I do, it’s obviously (…).


If that is what you have found,
To solve the puzzle of the ‘e’.
Then enlightenment is yours to behold friend;
So enjoy your next mystery.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Every day
1, 2, 3, 4
stay up just a little late
5, 6, 7, 8
tired of this endless play
9, 10, 11, 12
I'm still up lets count again!

1, 2, 3, 4
Every day I lay in bed
5, 6, 7, 8
Watch the time all go away
9, 10, 11, 12
Took to long lets go again!

1, 2, 4, 3
A darkened room -to play- -for us-
5, 7, 6, 8
What -shadows come- -have those- to say
12, 11, 10, 9
-allright- -you'll be- -okay- -it is-

9, 11, 6, 3
-can you- -hidden- -meaning- -endless-
2, 5, 8, 10
-just an- - with no- -winning- -find the-
4, 7, 1, 12
-puzzle- -and no- -Life is- -meaning?-

Puzzle pieces.
I found out today
My future will not consist
of the sound of little ones
running around.

I won't be awoken
to the sound
of a child in need
Due to a nightmare
or crawling into bed with me.

I won't ever get the chance
to feel something
I created
kick me from the inside.

I'll never know
what it's like
to grow a tiny person
from two people loving each other.

My partner will never
Hold my hand
while I bring our child
into the world to take their very first breaths.

I will never be pregnant.

I will never have a baby.

I'll never get to see
My eyes
Nose
Hair
on some smaller version of myself.

I won't get to laugh
at the way my child
smiles or frowns
like their father.

A failure at womanhood.
What our bodies are suppose
to be made to do,
I can not.

I can not give
my future husband
a child
to carry on his genes.

I can not conceive
if I do
I will not carry
my sweet baby to term.

"Infertile" they call it.
"Inferior" I say.

I guess this is what happens
When the puzzle pieces
Find there way
Together

This is why
I lost our child
it wasn't because of my age,
or because I didn't take care of myself.

My body simply failed me,
Failed you
failed our baby.

The reason that though
we never prevented it.
I only conceived that one time
I only got so close to happiness
Just the one time


This is why I lost you
This is why we broke

Neither of us even new it then.
I didn’t want to know
So scared of this reality
This is why I didn't get to keep you

This is why she does.

God knows all right?
He knew you were born to be a Father.
She gave you the sons
I would never of been able to give you.

She gives you miniature versions of yourself.
Little boys to run around
Little boys to look up to you
Little boys to call you daddy

The family I never could.
I am so glad you got this chance
Without question
I know you're incredible.

They are lucky
Your blood runs through their veins.
Being a parent was always in your future.
It just wasn't in mine.  

Puzzle pieces right?
What happens
When you don’t like your own?

and the puzzles don't fit like pieces
like the ones you'd wish on a chess board

And life is just a gamble we never wanted to play
so music is the last resort to staying

In a kaleidoscope of broken pieces
I hope we'll make masterpieces

of all these broken parts

we’re like a puzzle, dear.
a constant struggle to find our match,
the piece with which we fit.
and all the while referring to the
example on the box, an image of
a puzzle perfectly plenary,
cookie-cutter courtships of two
jagged-edged squares
just looking to fit in.
and the sea of polygonal
cacophony, swept by the tides
spawned from the puzzler’s searches,
grows ever-increasingly frantic as
the elusive match hides amongst
the others, like a needle in that
hellish and predictable haystack.
in impatience, he concedes to the
concealing pile, and continues on
to the next piece of the puzzle.

but he’ll return, for the game
will not be complete
until we two final pieces
meet.

The walls were closing in on me
Where the floor was rising
And the ceiling was sinking
Determined to suppress me to dust
A Chinese puzzle box
That’s more of a trap
Than a puzzle
For me to waste my time
Fiddling with the padlock
When there is no code
Discovering the key
When there is no hole
Turning the ****
When there is no door
An unsolvable problem
That I kept on trying to solve
Until my room was a box
And my box was a prison
And my prison was my life
Determined to suppress me to dust.

I must admit I am more damaged
after you left, less whole.

There is a piece of me
you stole.