i shouldn't have been 10 years old when you forgot me on thanksgiving
i shouldn't have been afraid of you coming onto me
i shouldn't have told you in the 8th grade that it was me or alcohol
i shouldn't worry when you have 1 beer
i shouldn't have been told you had a coke problem when I was 15
i shouldn't blame my mom for cheating on you
i shouldn't worry about you breaking glasses
i shouldn't be embarrassed to introduce you to my boyfriend
i shouldn't cry
grandma shouldn't say that i have to accept it
i shouldn't worry about you hurting the dogs
i shouldn't get sad when you ask me the same question 3 times
4 times
5 times
i shouldn't be afraid to have a drink with friends
i shouldn't worry if i'm turning into you
i shouldn't ask myself at 19 years old if i'm going to be an alcoholic
mom shouldn't say i'm my father's daughter
i shouldn't wonder why you can't choose me over the bottle
i shouldn't blame myself

you shouldn't do this to me
i'm "your girl"
your daughter

put down the ******* ***** dad you're drunk at 12 pm

yes i do love you
but talking to you
creates this ugly niggling tension
in my stomach and my thoughts to get cloudy
and i just become so frustrated
all i want is to be left alone
but then you think something is wrong
something is obviously wrong
but you are never going to be the right person to talk through it with

"Oh my"
It's getting really late
I must move fast to meet my mom
Or a fight we will create

I scurry down the sidewalk
To see my friends at the park
Jane, Will, Anne, Sam
And a blue eyed boy named Mark

"Hello" I say out loud
They wave and greet me back
"We missed you"
I join them and drop my backpack

I sit down and talk for hours
I forget about the time
"Where the heck was I going?"
These friends are none of mine

I get up from the swings
I'm confused.. question-mark
I feel like I've done this before
I search for a hidden spark

My mom is standing at the doorway
She is mad I can tell
"We're you talking with Anne."
That name, it rings a bell

"I think so mother, but I don't know,
I think I did.. I guess"
She shakes her head and brings me inside
"Go and get some rest."

I lay down on my mattress
And pull the sheets above my head
I lay there like a zombie
So tired, almost dead

In my dreams I see some things
But not normal like on t.v
Everything is strange
It looks so make believe

Then I realize it's not a dream
This is my real life
My dreams are completely normal
But my life just isn't right

I see things that aren't there
I hear people that can't be seen
Everyone thinks I'm crazy
I know just what they mean

It's hard not to think that
When you can't explain someone else's mind
If they looked inside of mine
"Normal" they would not find

I'm the crazy girl who's stared at
Sitting alone all in the dark
With Jane, Will, Anne, Sam
And a blue eyed boy named Mark

They always look twice
I can hear their rude remarks
As they try to find who I'm talking to
-The little children at the park-

What would you like for dinner, Honey?
Pork? Beef? Human?

Ah, I’m never sure about human.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a free range or organic human ever,
Which has always surprised me, seeing as they choose the environment they live in.
Haha, they have the most ridiculous hierarchy of alpha males and leaders,

The psychopathic lead the docile.
I find it hard to eat this animal,
Always in the back of my head are the rumours
That they have a conscience
Somewhere underneath their thin skulls.

And all the controversies,
About it not being quite human meat,
Or being diseased,
Or the weirdoes, with their
“where did humans come from anyway?”

They barely have any meat in them anyway,
Useless animal really.
Sometimes it’s just fat, sometimes just bone.
I don’t like the chances.
Too much risk.

I think I’ll have some foie gras, or maybe some veal.

Such a common trend
I could've been daddy's little princess but you left mommy out in the rain
when you found out 1 2 and 3 were on their way
you didn't even flinch
but everything's okay
see she made sure I never needed you
worked multiple jobs just to afford a smile or two
and when she had to leave
we were never afraid, because she wasn't like you
I didn't mind your absence but why'd you leave the black & blues?
no longer visible on her skin but emotionally they'll always live
and truthfully, that's the only reason I resent you
because when your name is mentioned I simply ask:
dad Who?
see I never asked questions like "where is he?"
because you made sure I never met you
and at my high school graduation the headcount was perfection
now I understand why some children are actually lucky when they're born to one parent instead of two
After all,
what kind of princess would want to live in a castle with a daddy like you?