Society likes to lie to me

Lure me to cages

Take my book of life and rip out all its pages

It's as untouchable as a ghost

It's a ghost with many faces

It shows up in the safest of places

Haunting our home

Possessing our closest of friends’ hearts mind and soul

It's a finger shaking no

The voice in our ear whispering

"let it go"

The monster under our beds

Keeping us from sleep

Keeping us from realizing our larger than life dreams

It's the vibration after being trapped in a spider’s web

It's the shouts
The screams

Echoing rejection in our heads

Imagination completely neglected till' it's gone and fled

It's telling us what life's supposed to be about

but...

I'm getting older now

The dark is more inviting now than frightening

Don't ask me how but it seems my chains are

snapping
bending
breaking

I fear no ghost
no monster
no lack of safety

I take my chances
Take my stances
Take my life back and they call it madness

Well...

Now society's scared me

Scared that I'll grow up to be the best that I can be

Scared that I have broken free

Set out to change society and all its hypocrisy and greed

They tell me it's impossible but just you wait and see

a little while ago
a group of people
family, friends, almost-strangers
carved a version of me
into stone
and said
"please never change!"
and implied
or we'll never treat you the same
so I have tried to stay
the same to this image
of an old, dead me
too afraid to shed
this old, rotting skin
too afraid to move
from this fixed position
and to try to finally be
myself

I live in a world of aimless dreamers
They tell me to become one of them
Their pointless dreams are the key to their "happiness"
An oasis for their aching souls

I dream aimlessly to evade my fears
I dream aimlessly to escape the tears
I dream aimlessly to hold onto peace
I dream aimlessly but I reach no reach

I dream aimlessly, I suppose to live
I dream aimlessly when I close my eyes
I dream aimlessly for a positive
I dream aimlessly, although I die

I dream aimlessly
Although I know
That aimless dreamers in the end..
Have nothing to show

And this lesson is to be learned
An aimless dreamer neither gains anything, nor earns.

Am I wrong for giving up on relationships completely and focusing on degrees?
To say I'll turn a blind a eye to a cute girl I see is a lie but my interest in exclusive affiliation I chose to rapidly decrease
My mentality is one and done
And if all you can offer me in our relationship is *** twerking drugs and alcohol I'm sorry but you aren't the one
Start with a foundation
Build with bricks not straws
You have issues and I got them too, so give all of yours to me and I'll tell you all my flaws
We get into argument and go on a break but you must be out of your **** mind if we're on break
I'm gonna give you space and put our conversations on hold but me stalking your social media isn't on pause
There's dudes out in this world that think of a break as a open invitation to slide in the DM
So you can tell those dudes and your past dudes your time is open but your heart is closed and they need to find another girl to DM
I heard the news my mother's surgery was a success
But it was hard to see her because King Gemini couldn't see his Queen Leo in a hospital bed when she wasn't looking her best
But I had my softball MVP to bring tears and my pain to a less
There's a Dominican blue Dominican sky out there who still has a special place in my heart no matter if our conversation history has drastically been less
This past summer has been a roller coaster that's made me nauseous
And I couldn’t wait until we reached the end of August
I was close to having an emotional breakdown but I held it together by the hairs of my chin chin chin
But those hairs are losing its grip and the chances of me holding it all together is thin thin thin
I put misery and company together but still I'm able to forget my problems and make sure my friends don't find the urge to sin sin sin
And I have no clue if I'm high right now
Or if this is Gods doing right now
But you can look in my eyes and see that the young little black boy who was scared of the real world doesn't exist right now
And nothing the man who was sadly given presidential credentials does to me comes as a surprise right now
I'm gonna pretend I just turned 21 a few years early and smoke hookah and drink and live my life right now

words,
do you know
how toxic you sounded?
it was your spirit of anger;
distinguishable amongst
your flaming passion
of your career.

words,
do you know how
you made a maiden
cry in a filthy land;
and because of your ego,
you have used the kingdom
for your battles without
clear victories.

your words.
they hurt.
sword-wounds
would probably
feel better than
your words.

it seems so silly to complain
about a luck that i have gained
a nice house
my own car
education, health,
and a loving family

anyone would look at me
with the silliest face
what am i thinking,
what a disgrace?

my problems are peas in comparison to others
but hey, i have feelings,
please don't neglect them.

a nonstop pressure
and accidental unappreciation
suddenly i am the girl
who has everything: "appreciate!"

What would be accomplished

throwing a word–or three–

into this vat of

Uncertainty?

--
c

When did our altered
   culture decide
     that WE
       would be happy
         with our little screens
           and such little stillness
             within our lives
               ?