Poison only tastes like poison
After you swallow it
Too unfortunate
To admit
You've been murdered
Before you're dead
You know it's only a matter of time
Before you're coughing up red

This is your nightshade
Your parasite
Your venom
Your kryptonite
You know the harder you fight
The harder back - the poison will bite
Don’t slow down
Do take a breath
It’s the last time you'll breathe
Before your death
Or refer to it as “eternal rest”
To try and ease
The tightening in your chest

So panicked
So manic
Feeling entirely frantic
Uncertainty
With urgency
But you were poisoned purposely
And you know without a doubt
Who set out
To knock you out

You'll look across the room
You'll feel it in your veins
Your eyes will lock with hers
You'll overflow with pain
It burns you from the inside
Nowhere to hide
She's filled with pride

Cuz she knows
She's the one who murdered you
And she also knows
That you know it too
The reason was clear
Why she put the poison in your throat
And when she kissed you
She knew there was no antidote

She leaned in close
So you'd hear the words that she said
And from what she whispered
She was pronouncing you dead

Suddenly it occurs to you
That with the venom on her lips
She will die too
Cuz love only feels like love
When you're falling into it
And poison only tastes like poison
After you've swallowed it.

She said "Pick your poison"
and I must admit
Her selection was quite impressive
Bottle after bottle
Each unique in it's figure
No single one containing a liquid of the same shade.
Some older than me
Others predating my father

When my eyes finished scanning
as if they even had to
My words came out softly
Possibly to lull her troubled mind
"The only thing in this room I pick, is to have you in my life. Forever til the end."

It's been a year
I still have no mind
I still don't think
For thinking is my downfall

My thoughts
Are poison
To my success
For they pull me off course
And push me into the abyss

I want to think
But i can not
For i've built a prison
That keeps me stuck
in this empty mind of mine

I tell myself can try to  
not be impulsive
And  not be indecisive
But i can't
For i never learn

Ive restarted my mind but
My thoughts
are useless
and unoriginal
And self deprecating
But they are still there
For i want to think

I do not understand
The thoughts entering my head
They tell me to shut up
To look pretty
And to blend it at the same time

These thoughts do not sound like me
Like the me before i stopped thinking
For these thoughts
Are not mine

It was never me
It was all of the people
Who judged me
And imposed their thoughts on me
Until they became my own

For the longest time
I was mindless
With no thought
For i believed thought was my weakness
Keeping me from perfection

When thought returned
They were no longer my own
They seemed perfect
But they had flaws
For nothing is truly perfect
If it takes away your individuality

Now i'm breaking out
Freeing my mind
I'm becoming myself
One again

I am not perfect
And i will never be
For perfection is impossible

Thoughts are finally flowing
And they are my strength
For they are my own