By Arcassin Burnham

When It rains and it pours , is it God crying?
Or does he make mistakes too by dropping
Glasses of water on some parts of the planet,
sometimes i cant stand it,
Its too hard to manage
With all the decorative seasons and foreign
Ghettos,
Following their footsteps and letting all of their
Friends go,
I wish everything was in slow motion so I could
Move through this crowd of ******* and jerks,
Its more than I deserve,
And when the wind blows I'll be sitting in the
Rose garden full of sin while thick and bold and
Replace the new past with the old,
I think I struck a nerve,
The Power was within is all along,
are you man? or do you claim your strong?
If you pick confrontations left and right then
something will go wrong.

When
you say
with gentle ask
"i'm yet to be discovered,
I may let you name me""
I cope with overwhelm well
and think
there
is nothing better
than you.

Who made you the centre of my universe?
Because it sure wasn't me.
Do you think that I want my life to revolve around you?
like i'm just a planet orbiting the sun,
A pair of jeans in the washing machine
Or flotsam in a whirlpool.
I don't suppose you'd understand,
How dizzy I get,
after a day around you
Or even a few moments.
How I can't keep my balance
And the world sort of tips
till' everything is inside out
backwards and all mixed up.
Except you.
because for some reason
the only stable thing
in this topsy-turvy world
is you.

don't just give yourself a planet or a star.
give yourself a whole galaxy,
be every swirl of cosmic matter you can find,
and never let a black hole
take away your shine.

I ve banned tec from our table
Tec is the terrorist in town
I ve banned tec from the bedroom
Tec is numbing us
Interacting is not cool
Interfacing is what's happening
I neck the new illness
Talking face to face
Is old school
Back in the day
When hanging out on walls
At the phone box
Now people go no where
Snap chatting what's it app app app
Instasham
Face ache
Phwww
It's all too much for me
Overloads pointless
tec is taking over

started out talking thought our conversations were temporary, then you sat next to me got me hotter than Mercury. took you to the corner hope your boy ain't seen us, say she love me but she used to curve me like Serena and Venus. didn't even kiss her lips I kissed her neck first, my **** out put it in her mouth felt like I left earth. we made love on the moon and we slept on stars, she slept on me and I slept on her. she begged for my Milky Way with her hot chocolate heavenly body so it's safe to say that I slept on Mars. wake up on the red bed with a red head, go to the kitchen we on the sink and I tell her to bend. I make her scream and the other planets runaway from fear, not only Mila Kunis could make Jupiter ascend. I told her 'I wasn't looking for love but Either ways I found it, let me treat your finger like Saturn put a ring all around it.' Then I asked her 'can I put it in your ****?' she said 'Guy that's disgusting

I thought I knew what I wanted when I came here. I think that’s how most people think anyway. They have this idea in their minds of who they want to be and it’s exciting and hopeful. I’ve always had trouble with my identity. I was a rambunctious little girl to an angst full teen to a raging selfish ***** to an emotional wreck to a human and then to a planet. And that’s where we stand right now.

I’ve had such the identity crisis that I honestly believe that I gave up being a human being and settled on being a planet. Far, cold, distant, and lonely. Pretty accurate. But coming here I wanted to try to be a human again. I missed it, honestly. I wanted to feel something more than just ice in my core and a fabricated warmth on the outside. So, I tried again. I tried to be human again. And I let whatever that means in – people, life, hurt, pain, happiness etc. And for a while it worked. There was, of course, a lot of feeling. And when I say that I mean crying. Like so ******* much. But I still let things in that I haven’t let in for a very, very, VERY, long time. I let life give me back my ******* insane emotions, I let them in, I let her in, and him in. I let him in.

But I realized that what I thought I wanted is not what I really want. It’s not what I need. It’s ******* nothing. I tried, I really ******* tried, to become normal again. To be HUMAN again. And it wasn’t worth it. In the end it just made me feel like I was being used, like there is this lie everyone knows but no one speaks of. IT’S LIKE EVERYONE IS IN ON IT. And I thought I could ignore it, I thought I could push it to the back of my mind and hope that God loves me and everything would be okay.

I thought I could do it.

But I let them in… not only that I let them touch me. I thought I could let people touch me again but all I feel is violated. All I feel is constant ******* pain and regret. And when I ignore that pain it just gets worse. And when I tell someone about my pain they don’t get it. Because they are human. Because they are ******* human and they don’t care about me they care about themselves. They care about their life and emotions and constant ******* pain. And they ignore it SO ******* WELL.

AND I WONDER WHY I CAN’T IGNORE IT. I WANT TO KNOW WHY I CAN’T ******* TURN A BLIND EYE BECAUSE THIS PAIN IS EXCRUCIATING AND NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT NO ONE ******* CARES AND I WISH I DIDN’T ******* CARE BUT I DO I ALWAYS DO.

I’m tired again. And I know now that I can’t be human anymore.

I am forever just a cold and a distant planet with a heart too big for humanity.