Crayon wax woman
Dripping blue irises fall
On peach circle cheeks

The voices in my head are getting so loud. They want me to jump off the ******* building or electrocute myself or shoot myself or jump in front of a car. They are thoughts of you and memories which I can't live without. Memories I don't want to live without but I only want these memories if I have you. Long distance is hard, it kills and you fight a lot but when you love, you love a lot more. I saw pictures of you with other men (men not man) and you already know how I feel about that. You already know I hate that. Those ******* pictures make me bitter about you but my heart, oh my heart just wants to embrace you and love you. I remember how you sat me down and promised that this will never happen again and it did. I remember how you called me one night and promised me that wont happen but that did too. You broke your promise, your commitment and my trust too. Speaking of that picture again (I just can't get it out of my head), you had said the night before that you will only hang out with your girlfriends and you'll keep your distance from those boys but well you couldn't keep that word either and then you didn't even tell me about how you sat with that boy (whose name rhymes with cheese) and watched the concert at the beach while I was unaware, missing you because I had a surprise news for you. I never gave you that news and I guess you will never know now that you aren't here. I never asked for too much. Just the simple stuff and that was my right too and you know I was right too. Just asked for you to not expose your curves, to stay simple, to not get pictures like that (the one mentioned above, still can't get over it), not to be in a situation that leads to pictures like that & to not break your promises. Tell me was that too much. You said I was insecure and maybe I sound like it too and maybe to some extent I am insecure because I didn't want to lose you and I couldn't bare see your name or you besides another man, but was that too much to ask for. Because that was all I asked for. Can someone please hit my head with a baseball bat and make me forget everything including my name or who I am. Because I want all this to end. Oh I want all this to end. And I know you will be back again like every time but you will continue on this path of broken promises and false commitments mixed with your ******* lies. Hope. Hope though is a ***** that makes you believe it won't (or will) happen when you know that it will. And I know it will.

Let me paint a picture within your mind,

There is a picture on the wall with two bodies mid fall, they are positioned in a decaying building with widows just behind them, cascading then in a ominous light.

There is a mother and daughter, and a in training service dog with gold and black fur and a purple vest with poo bags on the left, the mother, short grayinh hair wearing a grey sweater, and pants to match, jots down information as the daughter, pink and blond hair wearing a black cardigan over a blue with white striped dress and a hat black with a variety of colored paw prints separated by hearts, recites information found on her phone.

Over a frozen lake, glides a white sail with a green rim, it's stands out against the pearlescent background caused by the haste of the setting winter sun.

I've got a boy in West Virginia
Who sends me all kinds of pictures
He says 'I wanna be with ya'
But I don't think he's the one.

I've got a boy just outside Paris
Seems that he's not that embarrassed
I guess that I'm the last on a long list
I don't think he's the one.

There's a boy who lives in my city
He tells me 'Girl, you're really pretty'
But I know, he'll never be with me
So I don't think he's the one.

There's a boy I loved just a while ago
He never fell in love with me though
It hurts to say, but I don't know
I still think he's the one.

They say that poems should include seasons,
Pictures, feelings, sensations; 'imagery'.
Whether it be a concoction, something,
Everything, anything, even nothing.
Whether it be things, memories, persons.

Meticulous pixels make up pictures,
Like when I fell, I had many sutures.
So accurate, captured and so painful.
Imagery of warmth, my heart beats blood red.

I've admired you for some time, oh my.
Your imagery of such indistinct hues!
Like abstact art, leaving me asking: 'Why?'
Gawking, in awe, you're igniting the fuse!
An imagery: 'Burning love in ashes.'

In her smoke, a heavy burn
Leaving him thirsty and parched
She taught a heavy lesson to learn
That loving her and her alone,
Is a church bell ringing above an alter dark

"Church Bell" -JP

I deleted all the pictures,
if you can't be here,
I don't want you to linger,
suggesting I deserve more
but you don't deem
me important enough,
suggesting love does not know time,
suggesting love does not make time,
I know the way you are
presenting things is a lie.

The stars loved me before
I became aware of your existence,
before you taught me
an invisible way to die,
and so why would I
want to lock our moments in history
when I know life could tear us apart
because you are not
holding onto my heart?

I could hoard memories of you,
paint the sky in constellations
of your bright eyes,
but how would that be fair to me?
Your love is a lukewarm affirmation,
lacking evidence and testimony,
scarce and rare,
barely there,
and now you understand why I cannot
give you my love as a weapon
you can use to destroy me.

old pictures remind me
that good once existed
that people once existed
who don't exist anymore
who are now ghosts
at the touch of my fingertips
old pictures remind me
that i was once me
and you were once you