In her smoke, a heavy burn
Leaving him thirsty and parched
She taught a heavy lesson to learn
That loving her and her alone,
Is a church bell ringing above an alter dark

"Church Bell" -JP

I deleted all the pictures,
if you can't be here,
I don't want you to linger,
suggesting I deserve more
but you don't deem
me important enough,
suggesting love does not know time,
suggesting love does not make time,
I know the way you are
presenting things is a lie.

The stars loved me before
I became aware of your existence,
before you taught me
an invisible way to die,
and so why would I
want to lock our moments in history
when I know life could tear us apart
because you are not
holding onto my heart?

I could hoard memories of you,
paint the sky in constellations
of your bright eyes,
but how would that be fair to me?
Your love is a lukewarm affirmation,
lacking evidence and testimony,
scarce and rare,
barely there,
and now you understand why I cannot
give you my love as a weapon
you can use to destroy me.

old pictures remind me
that good once existed
that people once existed
who don't exist anymore
who are now ghosts
at the touch of my fingertips
old pictures remind me
that i was once me
and you were once you

This happened
Faster than the speed of light,
Immediate like deja vu;
While coming across your picture,
Just then, I am with you.

As enlightening as an epiphany,
Shorter than a sub nano Zen;
I was one with my reality,
I am in the picture then.

I snap back,
I put it back
Beneath the orchid cloth,
Where time and space lie dormant
For these moments that I have.

Just another photo, with just another frame
Showing pictures of warped memories when time was just a name
Unbound by restrictions, not tied by the cord
That makes you stop and contemplate the risk or the reward

I was happier when I was young,
Oblivious and playing dumb
Forgiving and forgetting little things
That didn't really involve my mum

I never really knew my Dad
And sometimes it still makes me mad
How disconnection affects affection
And how when he left I used to be sad

I'd see my Father step on the plane
And the hollow in my chest just wouldn't fade
Even as young as then I knew he couldn't stay
He had a job to keep food on the plate

And my Mother? Yeah, I used to like her
When I was younger and didn't really know much better
What kind of Mother locks you in your room using a rope?
And shuts you in with nightmares hanging on walls, slightly sloped?

I wonder what it would be like if my parents were still together
If maybe they'd be happy or things would be any better
Never mind, I guess I'm just reflecting on life
And the pointlessness unlike the razor point of a knife

I carved my own skin into a memory of darkness
In times where I was not my best and was so sick of advancing
Through a life that lost it's point, hell, it's edge
I stop and think what it'd be like if depression and I had never met

I lose focus on the better things, they tell you to be positive
But how do you do this when you're conditioned to see the negative?
By a world that never liked you, that disconnected you from kin
And treated like the regular trash you ditch into the bin?

Things never seemed to go my way, so I gave up trying
And this explains why I'd be up late at night, crying
I'd try to sing a lullaby and fall asleep to it
But my voice was so hoarse I could never do it.

People say my life ain't bad, that's because I'm smilin'
Cracking jokes about dope and **** they don't know that I'm hidin'
Behind the face they wanna see, that some have come to hate
Especially a recent ex girlfriend and others as of late

I'd say it was coincidence, but I guess it's just a test
Is man or mother Nature truly, 100% the best?
Push on through this life, I'm doing it so you can too
Don't let people's gossip and ****** opinions get to you

They ain't worth the time, nor the cranial space
They just trash, so move past, it's your own mind to waste
So do it as you will, just be who you want
And don't be a warped picture that reminds you what you've lost

I tried to hold it off.
Keep the sadness at bay.
But tonight,
Looking through pictures and
Remembering old times

The tears started flowing
And this time
I didn’t hold them back

"Wanting something but can't break through

Sitting around with nothing to do

Watching eyes that shine

Shine like amber turning gold

From blue to purple

To black it all beholds

Turning around

To uphold the love lost and love you will consume

Being told love was everything to you"

lies
empty sand pictures
heavy shadows of nothing
commercialization of dreams
daughters of a snake
with nightingale mask
stench of corpses
locked in a chest of violets
they hit you like a stones  rain
catatonic
dust visions