7 minutes pass by

a flash of light captures your gaze
pulling you back into reality
out of the daydreams filled with words that were never spoken
you reach for the phone
holding your breath
smug with the thought of the content in the message that lit up your screen

your smirk fades
almost faster than the hope in your heart

it wasn't her

13 minutes

but you were so clever weren't you?
you know her like the back of your hand
how could she resit replying?
how could the anger not boil right through to the tip of her fingers
causing her to-

38 minutes

your fingertips flash red
matching the colour of rage in your heart  
all you wanted was to see the words that flowed from her mind
her beautiful mind
imprinted onto your screen
so that maybe, just maybe
her soft voice would reply in your mind once more

72 minutes

a tear rolls down your cheek
your rage has melted into a puddle of water
like the thunderstorm that turns to rainfall when it can no longer handle being angry at the earth

86 minutes

realization washes over you
she doesn't care.
you can't fill her with an anger that will make steam pour from her ears
if she no longer drinks the water to fuel the steam
you cannot cut holes through her heart
when its already been sliced like Swiss cheese
you cannot tell her you love her
after she stopped counting the minutes it took you prove it

your answering machine
and i
have become
close,
perhaps closer
than you and i
ever were
because at least
it bothers
to answer me

I say "Hello?"

Automated Female Voice: (you know the one)

"All of our representatives are currently busy with other calls, please hold. Your call is important to us."




"*****!!.... YOU called ME!!!"


*click

I know every time you pick up the phone you want to call me
I’m always the first thing on your mind when you’re alone
When no one cares for you,
You care for me
I don’t understand why you come around;
Why you wanna make me want you
When you don’t even want yourself.

It felt like the same 4.00 A.M as it was yesterday when he called it's just today phone calls are the last ones you will get from him and his voice will echo until you breathe your last breath

Midnight
I climb into bed and wonder,
What are you doing in your room so far away?
I hide under the fabric hoping that my thin sheets can keep the
Monsters
Away from me, I don’t like it when you are.

1 am
I switch sides, hoping for a new perspective,
As if this wall will lull me to sleep better than the last did.
My skin itches, remnants of old Laundromat detergent,
Irritating me, making me cringe as I squeeze my eyes shut
Again.

2 am
I count the ceiling tiles, starting from the door.
If I can’t have the answers to the important things,
I might as well get the answers to everything else.
Right?
There’s 24.

3 am
My phone buzzes and I trip trying to reach it.
It just the boy from last night
I roll over, pretend it was you.
You told me you loved me, and kissed me before you left,
I climb into bed and wonder,

What are you doing in your room so far away?

my phone just died
right in the middle
of our conversation
I was sitting on a
friends' kitchen floor
with a purple blanket
wrapped around me
keeping me warm and safe
from falling into your words
and you said you loved me
and I didn't know how to reply
but after a minute of silence
I whispered
"I miss you"
but you never heard
because my phone died
and saved me from
making a fool out of myself
fur telling you the truth.