Where are you now?
-
Well I'm here. Here at the -
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I can't see you.
-
No.
-
Well I'm looking at it n- Yes.
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What do you see?
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Okay. Okay.
Yes.
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No, I'll come to you now. Yes. You stay there.
- -
What a *****!  This is going to be a long day.

I know you're busy trying to find yourself
Through nicotine and diet pills
I was just curious and thinking
Do you ever stop to wonder
If it's enough to just be the you that you are?
Do you ever stop to consider
If it's worth losing the you that's already there?

So call me when you get back
From the hell you're putting yourself through
When you choose me over all the worthless addictions you destroy yourself with
Call me when you get back
From all the nightmares you've made come true

Tell me who's been by your side
Through all of what life has thrown at you?
Can your cigarettes wipe away your tears?
Do those drugs make you feel so pretty
That you don't even need me?
You say that it's none of my concern
That just sounds like an excuse
What you need is a hard knock back into reality

Do you believe I will just ignore
All the brand new cuts, bruises, and burns?
Do you think I'll sit still while you tear yourself down?
I know you lie when you say you need to save yourself your way
Doing things your way looks like a hazard sign to me

I'm scared of what you have become
I'm scared of what you will do to yourself
I feel like I can't take my eyes off of you
Or you'll just disappear
I’m so mad at you for making me be so disappointed
In the person who I looked up to the most
Without any regard for those who love you
Choosing ephemeral means of feeling over the shoulders that we offer

Call me when you wake up tell me why you're upset
I want to be there for you
You know that I am someone you can come to
Call me when you need me
I promise I'll pick up immediately
Know that I know that you are scared
So call me when you're ready
I promise I'll be there

I can not write.
My hands ****** in time.
I scream at pixels,
some dead in the corner.
I want to open up.  
Let it pour out as an ocean,
until overwhelming empty.
Composure must be kept,
as this is an art with structure.
The words must perform,
as dancers do before an audience.
As they read this,
it is only half of what is felt.
They can’t smell the rot,
that infects backstage.
The nagging screams,
that would make the world deaf.
Or be blinded by black,
during the bright of day.
I just want to be felt.
Release the tension,
of societies chains.
Or your chains perhaps.
They choke,
my voice,
inhibit my steps.
I want to just run.
Each send is a cry,
in a soundless megaphone.
Can I reach them?
Does this reach you?
I can’t write anymore.
Press send.
Scream.

There's a comforting feeling,
seeing that number on my phone,
feeling that panic,
closing my eyes quickly
and making a wish,
that I know won't come true.

I raise my hand up to my ear
Empty without my phone
Maybe it'll happen tomorrow
is what I said about yesterday's tomorrow, because

This is when you would call
This is when you would call
Was told of the end that comes to all good things.

Have you dialed my number only to then take your hand off the latch
of a door where something made of be us
Grunts and screams and moans and pleads

Who do you say "Hey there",  to now?
Did their day make you smile?
Laugh in sync?
Did you pause in mid sentence as your eyes saw the time?
Because....

This is when you would call me
This is when you would call me
Why can't you ******* call ME?

A child i acted, you say as if you knew
But in fact you had no fucken clue
To talk when you weren’t ever near
Never did you get a chance to hear from my side of my own mind
You declared left and right
About my obsession with your ex
Like you knew the thing flowing in my mind
But ya didn’t
Ya didn’t fucken no the thoughts inside
The things I always had flowing my mind
Hunny you’re so heart over mind
That ain’t the care when it comes to who I’m sticking by
See from my side its mind before heart
Only a fool and not to come at you
But only a fool will let the heard lead the mind
That’s just plain wrong
Hunny you gotta let your mind tell your heart
Then you’re really there
The game really is
You fake that your heart leads your mind
In reality your mind leads your heart
It’ll be easier at getting on when you’re aware
But hunny you still ain’t there
And I don’t think you’ll get unstuck from the middle of the path
It’s really fucken sad
You feel sorry for me ?
Oh please
I don’t feel feel that way for me
My mind is leading the path I take
I only wish you’d be able to see it that way
I’m going the opposite way
Suggest you the same
Or you’ll forever hold pain
For the child’s sake
Give y’all a real break
Get the **** away
Stop living in the past life of what once upon a time
This life isn’t a fairytale
Ain’t no happily ever after
What type of lie you been going at inside your head

Whenever you say
Goodbye, I tear up and wait
For your next reply.