I wish to understand these fragments of myself as beautiful.

This patch of back hair could be a
silky kitty on a window sill.

This doughy belly might as well be a
delicious pizza in the making

These hairy legs seem like
open fields of hay to roam freely.

Culture says, "You're ugly but if you do this ..... you will be desired."
The rebellious say, "You're beautiful in every single way."
But I say, "Everyone is beautiful and ugly in their own."
what's ugly is our inability to see each intricate part of
ourselves
each other
as a miracle.

He was clever.

I never considered that,
He knew exactly the words to say,
And at precisely what pace.

He convinced me.

That I was normal,
By making himself seem stranger,
Than I could ever be.

He trusted me.

When he needed it,
So that I was obliged to do the same,
When he fed me with lies.

He amended me.

So that I required him,
And couldn't live alone,
Ever.

He destroyed me.

In a single forced kiss,
That I hated so much,
But couldn't bring myself to end.

He broke me.

Without a thought,
Despite claiming to be my friend,
I will never reclaim my heart.

He took me.

For his own,
For him to do with what he wished,
For however long.

I escaped.

But too late.

Finally,
Escaped,
Eternally,
Free,
But always,
Afraid,
Of remembering,
Me.

Hopelessly,
Lost,
But that's,
Okay,
I don't care,
The cost,
As long as I get,
Away.

Deadly,
Hands,
I don't need,
Anymore,
Messed up,
Plans,
I've settled my,
Scores.

I'm better now,
Yes,
I've moved on,
At last,
I wouldn't have,
Guessed,
How easily,
So fast.

My breaths are getting,
Stronger now,
My ramblings becoming,
Less jumbled,
My weary legs, however,
Will not allow,
Me to keep running once,
They've crumbled.

The weak points are slowly,
Losing their will,
Over time, I hope,
They'll fade,
I never expected,
That I would still,
Have avoided,
Touching the blade.

Stop

Breathe

Look up

And see

Safety.

I've missed you for the longest amount of time
how could I not,
you were engraved in me,
a part of me for so long,
I didn't know what it was like without you.
You were my routine, my schedule,
the ballet-slipper pink ribbon laced into my life.
You showed me your world, and I showed you mine,
and suddenly, it was ours.
I don't know who you are anymore
In fact, I didn't know for a time before you left.
Our worlds grew distant
foreign and separate
even so
what am I to do but crumble
and fall apart
When you yanked the shiny ribbon of your presence
from my life?
You were a part of me
And I can still feel your presence.

life is an ocean
life is a scrape
both flowing in one direction
waiting for an opposing force to break
the stream
the motion
bodies become one with the current
either in whole
or just a finger
you're the one to break your cycle

I've given pieces of myself away
     over the years.  
I meet people and I love deeply,
     so I break off a piece of my heart
     and offer it up, my gift to them.
I've found my presents oft returned,
     unwanted, unused
     after their purpose had served.
So when we first met, sir,
     I had no intention
     of breaking myself further
     for you, only to be scorned.
But intentions be ******,
     for you didn't wait.
No, you sewed my pieces
     back together for me,
     without me even having to ask.
And so it is you, sir,
     who shall have the gift
     of the rest of my heart.
One little piece will never be adequate,
     and so I give to you,
     more and more every day.

We all own other people.
In parts.
We cut out the things we want with words and wear the pieces as badges
Medals.
Blood dripping sashes.
Words are knives and we ask for the cuts people may deign to give us
We want to be owned in those parts so we can own them in turn.
I wonder what pieces
I've let people take from me?