Tonight I watched the sun melt
fall into the sea and wash away
the beauty in the sky
meant nothing to me
I was tired
of so many painful hours
of dark days
watery eyes
and tear stained cheeks
This unwelcome story
how will it end?
And where is the memory
of when it began?
What day was it
when everything changed?
When the right to be cheerful
was no longer granted
When the morning comes
the dark will be present still
as dark as the days before
senseless moments
playing games within
jumbled
mixed up
spinning in slow backward circles
as my mind trips lightly over itself
again and again
over and over
and all before me there is
nothing
I will run as fast as I can
because it's all I know
my familiar friend
my hideous buddy
my mocking dark day pal
I’ll run until my breath is extinguished
outsmarting my chasing dragon
of shadows
decades past
of the deepest black night
Nothing follows me
but still I run
to find freedom
to dig for gold
from under the elusive rainbows
But always
I run alone
just me running from I
Drained
hollow
numb
a plain empty jar
It’s time to lay down my fears
leave my senses to rest
I’ve run too much
too long
too hard
Time to tell the dragon
his time is up
acknowledge the empty space
that lingers behind me
and be grateful for being alone
I will sit and wait for the sun
revel in the beauty of the sky
resurrect those things
that have long been dead to me
Wait for the light inside
for the radiance to be felt
to be seen
be understood
and once again become my friend
Slow
but sure
I return to myself
Written about my depression, many years ago (younger days!) Happy to say I've been free of it for a long time now. If you want to read what I said about it you can read more here --> http://wordmusing.wordpress.com/2013/04/27/return-to-myself/
