She climbed the ladder of the apartment buildings
Went through the ***** window she left open of the small, empty, dark room
Yes, she’s been here before
Atleast 8 hours ago actually
She sunk to the floor and passed out because of her hunger

She awoke the next morning where she collapsed
Her once beautiful, long, brown hair was a matted mess
She picked herself off the floor (if only she could do the same with her life at 17)
Brushed off her sweatshirt, adjusted her worn out jeans, and went out down the ladder and was off to work again
She dug wells, and cut trees like a pro for the only reward people would give her
Their scraps
And maybe a penny

No, she was no drug addict, psychopath, or creep
She was simply an orphaned child at age 7
Who started working for food, and found an abandoned room to live in
She’s done the same thing for years
Work, starve, eat scraps, and maybe sleep
On, and on

To collapse and freeze in an alley on her way home in the middle of a blizzard
Her last thought was her mother's warm hugs
Her last words:
“I’m coming mama.”

This poor girls life is tragic
For depression was her muse

~
I love you so much Sammy…It’s not your fault
I wish I could’ve saved you...

I awake ; decanted
I inhabit an orphan creature now
did my parents just die ?
or is this just some feeling
brought over from
my brother world of slumber
I sit up
scratch itches
and tend to my waking head

this obsession that consumes and burns within me
is it love, true, unconditional, the kind in fairytales
or limerence, intoxicating, ephemeral, lasting only 900 days
the moment i pledge my highest love, i face my greatest fear

when i fall to sleep at night, you are my last thought
the first when i wake, then all day long
kiss me, sweetly, softly, eternally, promise never to stop

wrap me in your arms, hold me tight, like a scared child
show me your love, prove it to me over and over again
kiss me, on the lips, tenderly, so i can feel your pulse

whisper, in my ear, tell me the lies i want to hear
share with me, the secrets, deep in your soul
faint echoes fading in a wishing well

kiss my lips, my cheeks, ******* tears
undress my dear, bare your skin, your soul, let me see you whole
let me taste your tears, i promise never to leave

run your fingers through my hair, feel its softness, smell it’s sweetness
do you remember, when we first slept together
scared children, orphaned, hugging each other tight, all night

i need to feel you against me, your breath on my neck
your scent, enveloping, penetrating deep within me
hug me, cradle me, rock me gently into security

The devil, he may sin,
But he's a southern gentleman,
With open doors,
His home is yours,
No God's more welcoming,
Than him.

how does the brain of a mermaid look like?
not like mine
not like mine
invisible like me
                    I can't become a myth
I want to escape
                    become a lost child again, an orphan by choice
I want to erase it all
                    even the dreams I never had
reality took me everything
reality is not everything
between my ego and my fears
I'm just invisible
I can't look past others
I can't look back
I thought my heart would save me
                    but he came with me
I thought we would be good together
                    but he is just as ******* lost as I am

From the heavenly embers the phoenix rises.
It opened its scarlet eyes and saw the world blanketed in darkness.
Its cries reverberating in the dim valley, paternal love it sought.
Woe is the phoenix for not a creature came and all it did was for naught.

With tears in its eyes till sunrise it waited.
Filled with indignation the phoenix flew.
For it realized that as a newborn it was cheated.
With only the support of itself the phoenix grew.

Time passed peacefully in the valley.
The phoenix' wings have now grown fully.
Then the phoenix’ adventurous spirit was suddenly ignited.
With newfound courage the phoenix soared, clearly it is excited.

It was fearful yet ecstatic for the world full of the unknown.
The phoenix said farewell to the place it once had grown.
It desired to wander the world hoping to meet with its kin.
The phoenix is very lonely and hoping for one’s happiness isn’t a sin.

Many beasts quickly hid when they saw the phoenix near.
When they saw the flames blazing they can only shiver in fear
Sighing with regret for it wants to make a friend.
But fate has been cruel and fear was its desire’s end.

It traversed thousand of mountains
And experienced countless rains
It hoped and prayed fervently to the glorious entity above
To grant its wish, to experience love

To be continued...

I never heard you, but I hear you.
I never held you, but I feel you.
I never knew you, but I love you.

Look into my eyes,
Tear and fear lives in me,
Sense of love has lost its meaning,
They said it on that day,
Rest in Peace from the loads of this world,
Was I the load?
Every night behind the large screens,
In a folded ball,
Crying with heaviness in me,
I miss the feeling of your lips on my forehead,
Why did you choose to leave me…?
Every day, mom dad I need you,
Touch my skin,
Feel the hungry days I’ve had,
They say I’m an orphan’ who are they anyway?
I’m a lost kid,
Seeking for acceptance…
A kiss on the forehead before a nap,
Tell me that you love me’
Tell me that I’m a kid like any other,
Remembering that day as though it’s today…
You turned solid and lost hope,
For us and our future’
The shadow of you is gone,
Though second chances exist. ☺

my eyes at sunset,
a warmth snuggle to my back;
orphaned mongrel’s love!

a wayside mongrel,
tries to sell itself to me;
poignant its antics!