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Sarah Anuar Sep 2018
You didn't break me in half. You just left without words. You just burnt without settings things on fire. No. What you did was worst, you robbed me; in broad daylight.

But see, I didn't fall into a pit expecting to be saved, I have my own safety equipment, it functioned perfectly well, I climbed out of a hole I dug out myself. I didn't forget my body, I just forgot my mind. I just needed time, because my body wants a different mind, a kind that wouldn't look for you in the first place.

I want to reinvent myself.
Sarah Anuar Sep 2018
After the barricades came down and the tides settled, she realised inner strength isn't about keeping people out and numbing out emotions. It is about realising the importance of being vulnerable and strong enough to handle the ripples and strong crashes. Inner strength is about feeling deeply for the things you care about and going out of your comfort zone so you can do what is right, even if no one else around you understands the values that you uphold. It's also about courage and bravery, taking a huge leap of faith and jumping into deep waters because you know how to swim. But also about becoming somebody who makes a difference or impact.
“where you are. is not who you are. – circumstances”
― Nayyirah Waheed, Salt

“would you still want to travel to that country if you could not take a camera with you. – a question of appropriation”
― Nayyirah Waheed, Salt

“I want to live so densely. lush. and slow in the next few years, that a year becomes ten years, and my past becomes only a page in the book of my life.”
― Nayyirah Waheed
  Aug 2018 Sarah Anuar
Madisen Kuhn
if you look up, you will see
the bright-eyed and
the wide-mouthed—
the interesting, the casual, the adored
glistening in the warm night
peered at through microscopes and
telescopes and stethoscopes
far and far away

we are so desperate to be close
close and close and
close enough to see the blemishes
the scarring and the peeling
effaced by obvious and biased inner-commentary
they’re just not as red or sore as mine
perhaps they were formed under
a different kind of sun

what does the unfamiliar heart say?
does it sound at all like mine?
will i ever escape the sloppy grasp of dullness?
will the world swallow me whole?
if i count the days on both hands
on toes, on eyelashes—
if i only eat green things and
read tattered books and
pretend that i don’t mind—will i ever
break the mirror?
will i find seven years of good luck
between the jagged edges?

to exist as a reflection
is to not exist at all
there are lonely, dark purple heavens
waiting for you to sever your longing gaze
to stop lying to yourself
to hop onto the back of the cow
and begin living somewhere beyond the moon—
to realize, with closed eyes
you belong to the sky
Sarah Anuar Jul 2018
I never heard you, but I hear you.
I never held you, but I feel you.
I never knew you, but I love you.
  Jul 2018 Sarah Anuar
love is like the sun
you adored it when it came
felt it on you while it stayed
and knew its value
only when it left.
  Jul 2018 Sarah Anuar
she gave me her nudes
she was bare
and naked
and so out
and open
and i willingly
accepted it
because it wasnt the nudes
that showed her body
the physical aspects
that made her beautiful
it was the words
she didnt choose
and the spontaneity
that left her
either from her lips
or her fingers
or ink

she was as bare
as her nudes
and i accepted
her for her.
10:02 PM 5/1/2018
Sarah Anuar Jun 2018
I prayed for love so I could find my worth,
I prayed for a man so that he could come and rescue me.
I prayed for love, but what I found was there is no greater love than the one He gave to me.
I prayed for a love to keep on earth but I found an everlasting one instead.
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