[PRESS PLAY]

there is no light in this
place where i reside.
my eyes go black and
there
         is
    only
            condemnation.

can you imagine being devoid?
a soul like nothingness.

what allows you to imagine?
what allows you to wonder?

[PRESS REWIND]

once i had felt the light.
once i was the light.
now i am lost, eyeless.
if only i could unsee.
if only i could unspeak.

what to do when such
secrets blind you, silence you.

[FORWARD TO THE FALL]

i thought i was sunlight.
i thought i was kind.
now i understand
         i understand.

nothing can be undone.
it can only be remade.

The sun, shining on your pale skin.
The slight summer breeze making your hair dance.
The view of you by my side.
I'm in peace.

The calming tones of your voice.
The safety in your arms.
The warmth coming from your heart.
I'm in peace.

This feeling I know too well.
This scared feeling of bonding.
This attraction was messed with before.
But I'm in peace.

And with you, I will risk this feeling once more.

Verbalizing out her interests
attracted opportunities.

She planned to play with every insecurity,
learning, growing and blooming
with every opening.

She just had to take a chance
for the possibility.
Event hough she was dubious and stuttering.

But soon there would be rhythm and fluency
and there she would find unity in
a community.

What we did was so innocent
Even when it was not innocent within itself
It still felt like it

The way you would hum a little tune as I let myself blossom
Such as a flower after a warm spring rain
For you

The way we couldn't even say the word
We came up with a code that was secretly ours that would make no sense to the outside world
Only we could understand it in our little eutopia

And now we've grown and we're not so innocent anymore
We've changed and we've gone our separate ways but now we're gravitating back
Or so it seems

I can't help but think of that blossoming flower
Of that funny little tune
And of the innocence that existed strictly between the two of us

A messed up girl
Trying to find her place
In a messed up world
Wishing perfection will go with her.
But somehow
That never seems right.
And she continues to trudge
Even in her broken form.

One eye in, one eye out
Penetrated by your energy deep into my soul, my unconscious.
I am listening, I have opened

O great Odysseus; brave explorer, my love
You have been at war too long
I invite you, sweet dreamer
Dive into the nectar of my lotus
Come feast upon my euphoria,
I blossom before you.

My king, you are your element
Your love, like water, nourishes my exaltation, my highest power;
My feminine divine

Inner goddess released,
We dance to the rhythm of wavelengths
I let you in, or so it seems
I now understand,
It is all a lucid dream

I loathe to appear boring
but I am.

Mesmerising reflections
Sordid depths pried
for a sliver of truth.
Geometric shells
Fenestrative awakening
enrapt you non-somnambulant.

Suddenly
I find attraction no longer active.
It must be an affirmation
I’m unsure of what
Perhaps never to know.