Today I climbed a mountain and screamed at the top of my lungs
It felt so good
To finally let go
To finally be on top
To finally have my voice back
The climb was hard
There were points I thought I wasn't going to make it
But I did.
There were obstacles in the way
Hills, trees, giant rocks
But I overcame
I had so many hands around to steady me along the way
And voices telling me that I had it in me
So I kept pushing
When my legs hurt and my lungs burned
Because I wanted to make it
I wanted to see the view from the top for once
Not from this dark pit I have been making myself live in
Today was the day I took all my troubles, hurt, and my addiction
And I burned that **** on top of the mountain and left it there
I walked down a thousand pounds lighter
And it was ******* beautiful

When the mountain
  I am afraid to climb
The ropes and tackles
  Are in abundance.

In perfect shape
 My body and mind
Not a weak link
 In the expedition.

But when the mountain
  I dare to climb
The ropes and
 Tackles are tangled.

In ill shape
 My body and mind.
Weakness as a
  Spell does bind.

Hopes and dreams
  Of tireless youth
Spend fast in
 The spiritually aged.

Strength  the glittering
 Cloak of youth
Fades in weakening
  Jaded resolve.

But in me all common
  Traits dissolve.
The bucking steed
  Will ne’er be tamed.

Pigeon-holed  the
 Misfortune of other souls
Has not been allowed
 By my rebellion.

But this resolve is
  Not without price--
The foothills of youth
  Are far removed

By erosion caused by
 Unstable belief systems
Washed away into
  The Sea of Ambiguity.

A distant mountain
  I sometimes see--
Distance  the deceiver
 Of proportion.

Challenged at the foot
 Of the formidable sight
Halfway climbing 
 Only to slip and fall.

Does this mountain
 Need to be climbed?
Do youthful dreams
  Need to be fulfilled?

When these dreams
 Are all you ever had
You wake up falling
  Or climbing higher.

Driven by dreams
 And gifts and talents
That rage like a river
  In the driest desert

Calling home
 What must come home.
Holding on to what
 Must be fulfilled.

Obstacles that have
  Become landmarks
Seem to fade
  Into obscurity

Like threats that
 Always remain empty.
Laughing at what
 Used to bring tears.

I remain standing
 Through all these trials
Not unscathed 
 And a bit weather beaten

Halfway up another
 Formidable mountain
Making up for lost time
 From a major fall.

Life has been happening a lot lately
getting in the way of living,
Learning,
Letting go,
Life let me live!
I've been missing out on so much by letting life stop me—
Life has been happening a lot lately
getting in the way of living

“A brain.
An athlete.
A basket case.
A princess.
And a criminal.”

Over the years, I have given myself such abuse,
With my great newfound friends, I can really let loose.
What a shame, can’t be lame, there is just no excuse.
I am glad I loosened the noose.
The grip on my hair and my head and my brain was
Becoming too much to take.
Stuck in a rut, so sarcastic and vile, I never thought
That people would like me.
Although I must keep appearances up,
I’m afraid I must be blunt.
A great deal of energy is required
To put up such a front.

There is no one that lives on this great, big Earth
That is a fan of vulnerability.
Behind this exterior, the sarcastic quips,
Lies a lamp, an antique, a great artifact,
A trinket, an heirloom, a gift to the world
Marked “fragile” on its side.

The one with the snort and the smile that kills,
With the tongue made of brass and a heart made of gold,
How could I ever forget you?
The one, innocent and so sweet, but with
A feisty temper –
How could I ever forget you?
The one with the cackle and
Beautiful eyes,
How could I ever forget you?
The one with the wit, beard, and
Effortless charm,
Now how could I ever forget you?
The luscious locks and never-ending
****-talks,
How could I ever forget you?
The jokes and feels and laughs and cries,
It’s home – how could I forget you?

Someone like me is not always loved,
But calling you friends, although;
It has made me effortlessly proud to say
I’m a ******* Mexico.

Outside of Comfort is change
It is an experience of adversity
Simultaenously profound and conflicting
To lay away the building blocks of self
Into a new construct, with the hope
That it, in its togetherness, is a testament
Celebrating the distance required
For the recreation of being.

Will she ever understand?
The way that I feel remains unchanged, despite the years.
Despite the tears you've never been there to see.
Despite the fears in me that it wasn't meant to be.
Will she ever understand?
I've wanted nothing more than to kiss your lips again.
Again, to be by your side, to see your lovely face.
Again, to hold you tight, to feel a lovers embrace.
Will she ever understand?
I've always been willing to lay it all down for her.
Willing to go the distance to be worthy of your hand.
Willing to be there the instance your call demands.
Will she never understand?
That I still love her...