In her deadly
blue eyes, I fall down the
rabbit hole.
Down
down
down I go.
I hit the
earth like a
mock turtle on its
back;
with a smack;
like a shot to the vein.
She travels through my
bloodstream with the
force of a mad tea party.
Her hair is dormouse soft.
I touch it, and feed
her tarts, as she
rides me like
a guillotine;
sharp and final,
with a purpose;
like a porpoise with a
fish hook in
its mouth.
I hold on tight
and never let go.

Maybe I hurt myself...

To keep myself from hurting you...

With the thoughts begging to become actions...

you've filled every thought in my head
that you follow me back from home into bed.
I worry about who I'll be when I'm dead,
when all that I am is just of you instead.

I just want to love you
Until the end of time
I’d prefer to hold you close
Rather than this distance putting us into a bind

I just want to love you
Unconditionally
There are still so many years
To fall in love with you more
traditionally

In the past, the concept of love made me dubious
I had my trust broken, misconstrued and deconstructed
But now I can see having kids and a husband
With you?
Not sure,
But you erupt like Vesuvius

My feelings for you are volcanic and I wish I could hold you
Cradle your head in my arms, flesh resting on floob
I love you most in these moments of utter simplicity
It’s during these times where you speak more transparently

I want to protect you,
Don’t get caught in my life
It burns bright and red hot and
Lava flows,
putrid sulfuric sin

I just want to love you
Even (more) when I’m with him
Because I’m reminded of you
When our song comes on
On a whim

I just want to love you
Even (more) when you’re with her
Things may work out better there,
But my deeds have more flow

I just want to love you,
Hold you close and tell you it’s alright
And lay with you- no pressure-
Until dew glistens in the morning light

I see you everywhere in the corners of my vision
It feels as if it’s all a  dream, or perhaps a
Nightmare, and in it, time rewinds, the scenario switched,
But you would completely change your decision

You wouldn't want me, and I wouldn't want you
We’d lose sight of what drew us together
We’d get competitive, restless
And it would no longer be a question of whether

But I still just want to love you
In a world without end
After we’ve seen it all
And we’re both on the mend

I still
Just want to love you
Somewhere we both don’t know
In a place far away, fog settles,
And under a quilt we burrow

I want to find you again in a place so anomalous
Filled with neon signs, bright lights, and visual overdoses
I will see you seated at a bar, thinking of why you’re here
I’ll approach you
So much having changed that we seem anonymous

you told me you loved me
you told me "you are mine"
you told me you'd love me forever
you told me "you belong to me"
you told me I was your alpha & your omega
you told me "you are why I was born a man, to love you"
you told me you were going to marry me
you told me "I can never love another now"
you told me you'd never let me leave you
you told me "I'll put you in a box in the ground, before I'll let you go"
you told me you'd never hurt me
you told me "I'm going to **** you"
you told me you loved me.

love is not ownership
love is not obsession
love is not violence
love is not suppression
love is not breaking bones
love is not silence
love is not feeling alone

you saw me like you see
one of your treasured
first editions
a thing to show off
to brag about
to your mates
a thing to pick up
and put down
to keep locked up
to covet
a thing you own.

I loved you
when you were
my loving lost boy of the morning
I loved you
when at loves first bloom
you were sweet
passionate
gentle
kind
I loved you
when you made me feel safe
I loved you
before the strong arms
that held me close
broke my bones
and broke my heart
broke my faith
and tore it all apart.

J.C.

Angels with broken wings,
frostbitten dreams,
morphine nights,
and gangrene schemes.
She had that broken glass sadness.
The kind that gets worse with
every slammed door and every
lazy moon mad night.
The light in her eyes was dim,
like a candle in the fog, or like
a frog that dreams of flying, but
wakes up to the same old pond,
day after degrading day.
God, every time I see her, I want to
take her home and give her a bath,
feed her strawberries and rub her feet.
I want to free her from the rain slick
suffering she's stuck in, wash away the
stench of the lonely diesel strangers,
but I can't save her, hell I can't even
save myself.  So I *** her a Midnight Special,
and light it for her, with a brief sulfuric blaze
of glory bereft of any lasting light...
walk away...Jack-O-Lantern grin
into the lonesome neon night.

Screams can’t reach you
A place so hidden.
Clocked by last chances
Turned off by fate.
Love cannot touch you
A pleasure so tactile,
Closely ecstatic
A torment to beguiled.
Imprisoned my soul
Under clouds of Pretensions.
I seen the truth
Long before you knew.
Yet my dreams won’t sit
Till it’s all renewed.
I see your thought
And read all your lines.
One thing remains
Is hope in your disguise.
In love I failed
And wish you only best
Yet my soul is tied
Imprisoned to no rest.