It gets difficult
late at night
when you can't decide
exactly who you want
to hold
in
your
arms.
It gets difficult when
although you know
nothing would change,
and it's not wrong,
you can't quite accept
yourself,
that maybe
you like girls
as much
as you like
boys.
It gets difficult
when you question
everything
about yourself,
when you just wish
you had one word
for how you feel
and who you are
and why your mind
does that
weird little thing
where you
never
seem to
stop
crying.
It gets frustrating when
you couldn't stop staring
at those girls
up on stage,
but when it comes
to cuddling one
or kissing one
or loving one
you want to
so badly
but you're scared.
You're not scared of them
or anyone else-
you're scared of yourself,
like you don't want to admit it
when you've felt differently
for so long
and everything
is now
beginning to
click.
Everything seems new again,
you know what it's like
to love a boy,
and you could do that again,
and you probably will.
But you've never loved a girl,
not truly, anyway
but you know you can
and you want to
because
that'd be
nice.
But everything feels new again,
you're shy
with girls
the way you no longer are
with boys,
you're used to boys at this point,
right now few give you
those same butterflies
even though you still
like them just as much,
if not more.
But girls?
It's scary
and new
and downright nerve wracking
and just
so difficult
and confusing,
though you know
you could love a girl
like you could love
anyone.
Because you know yourself.
You could love
anyone.
sorry just some late night confusion~
